Pinky and the big bad shinobi world
by tedyvirysa
Summary: Basically this is a story of what I think would have happened if Sakura was a guy. Fallow Satoshi as he makes friends and faces his future! (I suck at summaries XD) (Male!Sakura) Chapter nine: Deidara finally appears!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

Basically this is a story of what I think would have happened if Sakura was a guy. Fallow Satoshi as he makes friends and faces his future! (I suck at summaries XD)

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

Chapter One: Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was a loud clan heiress with long pink hair and a great burning desire to become a sannin and take over the world. Her name was Haruno Akemi and she was a great genjutsu specialist.

Her dream was not something you'll expect from a sane person but it wasn't that surprising since the people of her clan had an odd mental illness and no one paid them any attention. She herself wasn't evil. Akemi was merely a woman that had seen and created quite a lot of the horrors of the third shinobi war.

It was quite the surprise for everyone that knew her when she started dating, and later married, a civilian. If you ask any of Konoha's residents they'll tell you that the great shinobi village is now one psycho short. Not that anyone was complaining, ever since Akemi married she hadn't been trying to "take over the world" and was quite pleasant to be around.

Akemi's life became even better when she learned she was with a child. The usually stoic woman became exited and her temper became a worthy rival for the Red Hot Headed Habanero's own. When her time came she gave birth to a lively baby boy with green eyes and patches of the trade mark Haruno pink hair on his head.

The sadistic side of the woman immediately kicked in and she almost named him Ichi but , much to the newborn's future eternal gratitude, her husband stepped in. The meek man stood his ground and the babe was named Satoshi after his late grandfather.

Everything, however, has a price and this did not exclude Akemi's happiness. Her home was shattered by the Kyuubi's attack…

The battlefield was full of konoha shinobis trying to protect their families from the giant nine tailed fox. Shouts of pain rang in the ears of those that were still alive, the dying were holding their last breaths in the hopes that they might be able to stand back up and keep on fighting. It was all in vein. The jutsus weren't even harming the beast and with a swing of its tail more and more shinobis fell to the ground dead.

Near the gates stood Akemi. She was frozen in her place, clutching her baby and staring at the corpse of her dead husband who had died pushing her out of their burning home before the roof collapsed. She looked around her and the only thing she could see was burning buildings. Those same buildings that were once the homes of her clan.

Everything was gone and destroyed, her clan was dead, but for her and her son, and all because of a fox. The same fox that was at the clan compound's centre. Akemi looked at her baby and back at the fox. There was no way she could leave her son here where it could be stepped on like a bug by the fox or killed by a jutsu.

With grim determission she started to make her way out of the compound. When she was near the entrance she found it blocked by ruble. She knew that if she moved the ruble out of the way she might make too much noise and attract the fox's attention. Akemi looked around in desperations and then she looked down at the bundle in her arms. Her son's face was wet but his eyes were not puffy and he had been mercifully quiet while she was making her way there.

"Look at your strong mother crying like that. Ha! If only the clan could see me now they might actually start thinking I'm human!"

With those words Akemi Haruno hid her son in the shrine near the ruble and headed towards the Kyuubi to drive it away from the village and her Satoshi.

In the morning her corpse was found among the many others near where the Fourth Hokage sealed away the great beast into his son. In her hands she was clutching a note, written with her own blood on a peace of bandage.

It read: "My son is in the Shrine next to the entrance of the Haruno clan compound. Please find him and don't abandon him."

TBC.

* * *

OK this is the first chapter. Now I know what you'll say: We came for Genderbend!Sakura and got Genderbend!Sakura mom' story. We shall flame you now until you never write again!

Well Akemi is important for the story and will be mentioned further on and I just watched Bambi and cried when his mother died so…

Satoshi will be cool in this story, not Mery Sue or whatever the male version is called, but Naruto will still be the hero.

I stopped here because the drama will be lost if I suddenly added a time skip. But I have already started having plot bunnies about it and it will be finished soon!

I know this chapter was short but the next one will be longer! I promise!

Well I hope you have enjoyed it and feel free to review, your opinion is important =)

P.S. Sorry for any mistakes you might encounter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

Chapter Two: Here comes Pinky

"**I don't see why we can't be friends. You may be a prankster but apart from that you're all right."- Satoshi to Naruto**

Five years have passed since the Kyuubi's attack on Konoha. In that time Satoshi grew up in the orphanage with the other children who had lost everything that night.

To his fellow orphans Satoshi was a quiet boy who studied too much. His pink hear have earned him quite a few taunts and the nickname Pinky. The boy paid almost no mind to the taunting because he had a dream.

His dream was common among the occupants of the orphanage but Satoshi knew that he can achieve it. His dream was to become a strong shinobi like his mother, of whom he had only heard stories, and a brave and noble man like his father who had sacrificed himself.

Satoshi always strived to keep himself hidden in the orphanage. The caregivers had told him about him having a clan and the boy knew that if he got spotted because of his clan nothing good will be waiting for him. He had heard terrifying stories about a man named Orochimaru and the evil Kumo nins who just waited for a kid like him to misbehave so that they can kidnap him.

Still he counted his clan status as a blessing because he hoped that he might become especially powerful if he fallow in his clan's ways, that is if he first manage to uncover said ways. Satoshi was slightly small for his age and didn't have the stamina of some of the other boys. Even though he exercised every day he knew that taijutsu probably will never be his strong side.

His weakness was also his motivation. Every day the five year old tirelessly studied how to read and write. It came as a no surprise to his caregivers that he was quite advanced and when he asked to be taken to the library instead of playing with the other kids he was immediately allowed.

The problem with Satoshi was that he had inherited The Haruno mental illness. He didn't want to become a sannin and take over the world like his mother, well maybe just a little, but he sure as hell wanted to become number one in the bingo book.

Satoshi had gotten that idea after watching the chunin exams. The crowd had showered the genin with praise and adoration and they were only the lowest of the low! He had imagined then himself in their place. For a boy growing up with so many children that vision was the best thing ever! Later on he learned about the bingo book and vowed to be on the very first page. In the child's mind that meant that he would be the strongest and receive much more attention than the wannabe chunins!

Little did he knew that the shinobis were sorted alphabetically and that he would never achieve his dream if he didn't kill all those above him.

Still Satoshi's condition and studying habits didn't stop him from making friends. He was a member of a small group in the orphanage that looked after each other. His live certainly improved after meeting them and the pink haired boy cherished them and they were his precious people.

Life at the orphanage as a whole was a mundane affair. Get up, race to the showers to get hot water, race to the cafeteria to get food and then repeat the food thing two more times and study. It's not like Satoshi complained. There were children out there who had it much worse and at least he was well fed and could mostly do what he wanted. Still the child knew that some of those people were even under the same roof as him.

One of the less unfortunate kids that Satoshi knew of was a boy named Naruto. Every time the pink haired boy saw the blonde his mood immediately got ruined. It wasn't because he hated the boy, even though the orphanage staff encouraged that hatred in all of the children, but because he didn't like how unfair the blonde's life was.

Even though the blonde child was always smiling all those that knew him could tell that he wasn't happy. Naruto wasn't mistreated on a physical level but he was isolated from the others. Satoshi himself knew the feeling of loneliness. Before he had found his friends he had been picked on as much as the blonde because of his hair color.

Many times Satoshi had tried to talk himself into inviting Naruto to play with his group but he knew how everyone mistreated people who tried to befriend the blond. Still Satoshi did want to be like his father and he reasoned with himself that a person that would sacrifice his life for another would also extend a hand to someone who had hit rock bottom.

With one last determent shake of his head he put the brightest smile he could manage on his face and approached the blonde.

"Hi Naruto, what are you doing?"

The blonde looked astonished at him for a second before regaining his normal happy go lucky personality and giving a foxy grin in return.

"I'm training to become the greatest Hokage, believe it! Wanna train with me Satoshi? I'm trying to learn a cool jutsy that I saw students do today when I snuck in the academy! "

Satoshi just smiled and nodded. After an afternoon trying to switch places with a log the two boys collapsed next to a tree to catch their breath.

Even though Naruto was very happy that he got to spend the day with someone he also saw the bad looks that the other kids and the orphanage staff had given them. Now Naruto wasn't stupid. He knew that he was hated for some reason and that anyone that would show kindness to him eventually was treated like him. He had selfishly kept the other boy's attention to himself and tried to distract him from what happened around them but the blonde knew the pink haired boy had noticed. Naruto didn't want to ruin the boys stay at the orphanage but he didn't want to give up his chance to have a friend either.

On top of that kids have approached him before and he had had fun and thought that he might be accepted by them only to find later that they had done it to play a cruel trick and cause him pain by abandoning him.

"Satoshi can I ask you something?"

"You already have, silly" Satoshi said laughing

"Why are you being nice to me? I know that the adults have told you to stay away from me, so why?"

Satoshi blinked at the blonde. His face was sad and he looked like he was going to start crying soon. Satoshi knew that no one deserved to be this sad and that whatever Naruto or his family had done that angered the village so much the punishment dealt was far too severe.

"That's because I want us to be friends"

Naruto looked shell-shocked, he knew it too since he couldn't think of any comeback. Someone wanted to be his friend and that someone seemed sincere. In his short five years of life no one has ever wanted to have anything to do with him, let alone be his friend.

"But…"

"I don't see why we can't be friends. You may be a prankster but apart from that you're all right."

At that something broke into Naruto and he immediately started grinning. Before Satoshi knew it he was being crashed into an Uzumaki bear hug by a hyperactive blonde who swung them both into a circle and kept babbling about all the cool jutsys they'll learn and all of the people they'll prank. Satoshi was smiling himself while telling Naruto about his bingo book obsession and his plants to achieve the coal.

That day a beautiful friendship was formed and the people that have claimed that Konoha was one psycho short started to fear that the Haruno condition was spreading.

TBC

* * *

OK. So ya Satoshi meets and befriends Naruto. I'll try to make a character development for most of the characters but this is Satoshi centric ( Male!Sakura).

Next time: Pinky and the fox go to the park and meet a cat and its older brother!

I hope you have enjoyed the story so far as much as I'm enjoying writing it!

Have fun,

Tedy


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

Chapter Three: Pinky and Foxy go on an adventure!

"**People are different and you can find a worthy companion among them as long as you respect them. One day you'll understand that bonds are an important think, little brother."- Itachi to Sasuke **

The days fallowing Satoshi's meeting with Naruto were filled with laughter for both boys. They ran around the village causing ruckus and pranking the shopkeepers that were mean to Naruto. As Naruto has feared life for Satoshi really became harder in the orphanage.

The other boy's friends had abandoned him so they won't get yelled at by the caregivers. When Satoshi noticed Naruto's guilty expression he just poked his nose and told him not to worry.

It was during an especially nice day that the two kids decided to go to one of Konoha's playgrounds. They couldn't precisely go too far from the orphanage since they would get in trouble but fortunately for them there was a playground really close.

As they prepared to go, which included revising the plan to put a dung bomb in the office of the director of the orphanage and running away through a small crack in the fence they had discovered not too long ago, they send each other exited glances.

This wasn't the first outing for either of them but still with the among of planning they have put into it it felt like a mission! By their estimation no one could trace the dung bomb back to them, even though the staff would accurately guess that they had done the deed, since they were expensive and a couple of orphans shouldn't have the money to purchase one.

Also they had around an hour and a half before they had to go back to the library where they usually spend their days, much to the librarian's horror. With a nod to each other they set to complete their first mission.

Within five minutes all hell broke lose in the orphanage. Everyone was fleeing to save themselves from the stench and no one noticed two grinning boys slipping out of the orphanage.

"This was so fun; we should cause mass panic more often!" Naruto said as he couldn't keep his amusement hidden.

"Ya and the best part is that if they ask us where we were we can say we were running from the smell like the others!"

After that Satoshi started laughing uncontrollably which earned him more than one glare.

"Now Naruto lets go! The mission was a success and our praise awaits!"

Satoshi's mock inspiration speech was met by a salute and a "Yes, sir" from Naruto and together they headed towards the park.

There were already a lot of children. In a corner a couple of girls were sitting and talking with each other. In the sandbox a boy was playing loudly with his dog. A boy whit glasses was sitting next to a tree far away from the others. Another boy with a pineapple hairstyle was watching the clouds. A raven haired child was building a sandcastle and another older boy was watching him fondly.

The two boys headed towards the sandbox because every other child was in a group already and they didn't feel confident enough to approach so many children at once. When they neared the boy they noticed that the older boy's brother started to watch them with interest.

"Hi there! My name is Naruto, believe it! This is Satoshi. What are you building?"

Sasuke stopped his work to stare at the two strangers. Everyone in the village either ignored his clansmen and him or was downright hostile for no reason. Even the other clan heirs kept their distance and rarely played with him. Didn't those boys see the Uchiha fan on his t-shirt? Maybe they haven't and that's why they came over to him.

Now that Sasuke got a good look at them he did have to reason with himself that they were both a little strange. The boy on the left had blonde hair, which was uncommon outside the Yamanaka clan, and was dressed mostly in orange and grey. The boy on the right had pink hair, something the Uchiha had never seen before. He was dressed in red and black clothes that made his pink hair stand out like a sore thumb.

Deciding that since they were that weird they had decided not to judge him the raven haired boy smiled at them and invited them to come into the sandbox with him.

"The Uchiha compound! I already made the gates with the symbols on them. Do you want to help me build the houses and the shops?"

The two newcomers shared a look and nodded exited that they haven't been spurn.

"Sure but how do you make a house out of sand?"

After Satoshi's question Sasuke got to do something that he rarely could in a family full of older kids. He got to explain while being completely badass, in his own mind at least. To Satoshi and Naruto the other boy's finger waving and imitation of a teacher's voice were just too much and soon they were laughing.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Finally shouted Sasuke agitated from the way those people were treating him.

Satoshi stopped his giggles for a second to only renew them again. He just couldn't help it. This boy had sounded so much like their caretakers back at the orphanage when they were scolding Naruto and him. In fact the boy had managed to make a perfect imitation of the director and after what they had done to sneak out today both boys knew that something like this but with shouting was waiting for them.

After calming enough Naruto explained to Sasuke about what the boy had unknowingly done and before long he too was rolling on the ground laughing.

Unknowingly to the three boys in the sandbox the older boy on the bench was also laughing. This in itself was considered a rare phenomenon for one Uchiha Itachi. Had the clan elders been able to see the scene they would have cursed the almost dead Haruno clan for infecting their heirs and thank them also for the proof they now had that their pride and joy, Itachi, was still a child at heart.

Itachi watched the small triangle that his brother and his newfound friends had made. It was adorable in a way. He vaguely remembered teasing Shisui about the cuteness of his own brother, much to said brother's embarrassment. Now he guessed that Shisui would be the one teasing him for acquiring two more baby brothers. That made the Uchiha scion's face darken. He really had to think of a contra attack or his elder cousin would never let him live thinking about his brother's new friends as his brothers!

While Itachi was having his inner crisis Sasuke had managed to earn himself five Uzumaki bear hugs, two Haruno nose pokes and had initiated a tickling match with the odds heavily stacked against him. Before anyone knew it everyone had joined in and even Itachi had been dragged into it.

The children had been especially merciless to the older boy after finding his ticklish spot behind his ear and a puppy was using its tail to tickle his feet. Unable to kick a puppy, or brush off all of the children off him, Itachi hung his head and with a shout of "Traitor!" at his brother he admitted defeat and agreed to take out everyone for an ice cream, much to his wallet's horror.

Sasuke couldn't stop smiling! It was the first time he was surrounded by so many people and that weren't a part of his clan and there was this warm feeling in his belly that just wouldn't go away. He looked at Satoshi and Naruto and saw that, if possible, they were even happier than him.

Satoshi couldn't decide if this was the best day of his life or the most embarrassing, seeing as a few minutes ago he had rolled around with a dozen other children in a sandbox. With a slight distaste he noted that the sand had managed to get everywhere.

Still looking at Naruto's smile he knew that today was worth it, that what he did for the blonde and how now his former friends ignored him was worth it. In his mind the child registered that those smiles around him should become his real goal. To protect them and to make them appear in the faces of others, but especially on Naruto's face who was smiling his very first genuine smile in the presence of the pink haired boy.

When Naruto and Satoshi reluctantly started to stand up, to head back, Sasuke looked at them with disappointment. Just as he predicted the two boys were the glue that held the newly formed group together and without them everyone started going back to their normal park playtime routine.

Then, after staring at his unfinished replica of the Uchiha compound, Sasuke remembered something really important. He hadn't introduced himself to the two boys! How where they going to find him if they wanted to hang out with him? Panicked, much to the surprise of his elder brother, he ran after them and grabbed one of each of their hands to make them stop.

"Sasuke! Sasuke Uchiha! That's my name. If you want to hang out you can just ask the guards of the compound and then they'll call me out!"

The two boys smiled what Sasuke would later nickname "weird twins telepathic smile". Then they nodded and answered at the same time:

"We will!"

Later on after Sasuke had told them goodbye he returned back to his spot with a goofy smile and yawed. Chuckling Itachi picked up his little brother and put him on his back to give him a piggy back ride home. By the time they had crossed their doorstep Sasuke was already fast asleep and after their mother kissed them on the foreheads Itachi went upstairs to put his precious brother to bed. As he was pulling a blanket over Sasuke Itachi said:

"People are different and you can find a worthy companion among them as long as you respect them. One day you'll understand that bonds are an important think, little brother. "

With those words he exited the room and left a smiling Sasuke to his dreams.

TBS

* * *

Next time: There was a figure crying over two bodies, they were alive, but just barely.

The one who was crying was Sasuke.

So, how was it? I tried to bring a little bit of humor in this story and some cuteness too! I really want to thank WindWhistle21 for the review. It was one of the reasons I updated so fast! The other is the plot bunny that is currently sitting next to my laptop and not allowing me to stop XD. And I got fallows too YAY!

Sasuke is nice because according to cannon he was ok before the massacre. And the Uchiha clan was spurned since people thought that they had unleashed the Kyuubi on Konoha.

Review if you want to make my plot bunny and I very happy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

Chapter Four: The stone was thrown into the lake, disturbing it forever.

"**Yes the Senju clan, wonderful until it became a treat to Konoha! Your clan is no different; it has just taken it a little bit more time to get the same idea as their enemies."- Danzo to Itachi**

The village hidden in the leafs slept on peacefully. Not a sound disturbed its rest on the surface for it was a shinobi village and its children were creatures of the night, silent and deadly.

Deep into the village's roots there was a building. A military base shrouded in darkness, its occupants faceless and emotionless. During this calm night in the very centre of this building a meeting was conducted.

"Itachi Uchiha, what news do you bring?"

That question was asked by no other than the Darkness of the shinobi world: Shimura Danzo. He was an old man covered in bandage from head to toe. In another life he might have been a kind man but not in this one. Danzo was the leader of an organization called "Root", a branch of ANBU that specialized in what the shinobis that basked in the light, even a little, would never do because for them it was inhuman.

"The elders are adamant that the plan be executed. Father is against it but there is little that he can do as the elders had gotten the support of the Uchiha that had fought in the Third Shinobi War."

Itachi didn't want to give the old war hawk any answer but he had to of fear of what the man in front of him might do if he didn't cooperate. He had to find a way to buy some time for his family. He had to convince the old man not to act against his clan or else the Uchiha would be dealt with as radically and severely as humanly possible.

"Despite of that I have been using my status as an ANBU captain to build bridges between the village and the clan and the tension has been lessening. If we can wait perhaps…"

He didn't finish his sentence however as he was silenced with a look by the leader of Root.

"Wait? What for? So your clan can gather the necessary manpower to start a coup? Or worse make an alliance with another clan and tear the entire country with a civil war? The shinobi world has been built upon sacrifices and blood. Even so I gave your clan a chance since it is one of the founding clans of this village. I gave your clan an entire year to change their path! A year, I didn't give my own family a week! Don't think you can foul me, boy! I know you love them, love and other worthless emotions is something Sarutobi encourage but don't you dare think you can fool me!"

Itachi was speechless. He knew how Danzo had dealt with his family after their betrayal. Their corpses had hung on the village's gates for a month before the Sandaime had forced his old rival to remove them. To think that the old war hawk was preparing something like this for his own family made him sick.

"But Danzo-sama it's because we are one of the founding clans that the treatment that we receive from the village is unacceptable! We form the police force yet no one trusts us! We used to reside in the centre of the village along with the Senju clan but now we are pushed in its very edges!"

Much to Itachi's amazement Danzo laughed. His laughter was cruel and cold.

"A yes, the Senju clan. What a wonderful clan that was! They were our founders and brothers until they decided to usurp all of the power for themselves! Two Hokages from the same clan in a row and then they had the nerve to but more and more of their clansmen in the council and restrict it! Yes the Senju clan, wonderful until it became a treat to Konoha! Your clan is no different; it has just taken it a little bit more time to get the same idea as their enemies."

Watching that madman ramble on Itachi started feeling something he hadn't felt in a long time- fear. If what this man said was true then the Senju weren't as loved as everyone thought and yet the history books had said otherwise. Would the same happen to his clan? Would the village suddenly proclaim its eternal love for it after it was killed? Would history paint the Uchihas as heroes, maybe even Madara Uchiha?

He loved his clan despite everything. He couldn't stomach the though that his mother, father, little Sasuke, hell even Shisui, will be ordered dead by this madman. Little Sasuke had just found his first friends outside the clan and was finally happy. To have all of this taken away seemed too cruel.

Then a thought struck him. If he killed Danzo he may prevent it. The bandaged shinobi would have been an unbeatable foe in his prime but luckily he was way past it and Itachi wasn't a genius for nothing. He just needed to kill him before the guards arrive, a silent assassination. If he was lucky he may even be able to escape with his life, if not at least he would die knowing that he had protected his family.

That optimistic train of thoughts, however, was interrupted when Danzo started speaking again.

"However the sharingan must be stay as a weapon of Konoha, just like the mokuton was kept within our boundaries thanks to Orochimaru. For that reason I'll offer you a mission and allow you to leave **one** of your clansmen alive between the ages of one to ten. Decide now for I will only tell you the details when you have accepted!"

Itachi was frozen in his place. How dare that man make him decide such a think? What was he supposed to do? Still Uchiha knew that while the Sandaime and Danzo were enemies the old Kage would surely finish Danzo's last deed if the war hawk was to suddenly die. If he do what was ask of him he would forever have his clan's blood on his hands. He also knew that he would surely be chased out of Konoha by ANBU and Hunter nins, his comrades and in some cases friends.

Something selfish in him steered. A picture of his brother's smiling face from earlier that day appeared in his mind. His clan would die either way; if even the Senju hadn't been able to safe themselves then the Uchiha had even less of a chance. Itachi had killed before, one doesn't become an ANBU captain at age thirteen without killing, but this was his family. In the end he knew that it would be his brother for whom he would sacrifice everything. Whit a strong feeling of regret he faced Danzo and nodded.

"I want my brother, Sasuke, to be spared."

Danzo looked at him and began speaking.

"You are to lead all of the Root operatives during the Uchiha massacre. They will all wear seals on them to look exactly like you so that everyone will be fouled that they are shadow clones. Considering your status as a genius it won't be unbelievable in the slightest that you are capable of doing something like this. You are to kill every man, woman and child regardless of age. After this you are to immediately become a rouge nin and leave Konoha and head in whatever direction you want, I will find you later. Dismissed!"

Time skip

(Uchiha compound)

If you ask Sasuke who was the happiest person that morning he will answer that it was indeed he and that your argument was invalid. The reason for that were the two boys waiting for him at the gates patiently. Well Satoshi was waiting patiently while Naruto was jumping from foot to foot and waving at him to come over.

In the past few months the three boys had become inseparable. They train together, ate together, had sleepovers, much to Mikoto Uchiha's amusement. The Uchiha matriarch had all but adopted the two boys and had gone as far as to put two more futons in Sasuke's room.

The three devils, as the merchants of Konoha started calling them, had long since entered the academy. All three of them had been taken to the entrance ceremony by Sasuke's father, Uchiha Fugaku. The poor man had been faced with three sets of puppy dog eyes, his wife's potent glare and his eldest son's "really, now?" look when he had tried to refuse.

As he caved he practically had the life squeezed out of him by the three boys and was later admitted in the Konoha hospital due to a broken rib. Feeling bad the three boys had baked him "get well" muffins. What precisely they put in them will forever remain a mystery, no matter how high master potion makers were willing to pay for the recipe. After Fugaku was admitted rather hastily in the poison wing Satoshi had proclaimed the muffins inhuman and joined Naruto in calming Sasuke down who had been the main baker.

It was a very sickly looking Fugaku that took them to the academy for the entrance ceremony. Even though no one laughed directly he knew that everyone was very amused. That day he managed to talk his son and his friends in making more muffins and giving them to the families of their friends as a diplomatic move.

As Fugaku watched the many entering people in the poison ward, to which he had to return since he wasn't healed completely, he couldn't help but be proud of his younger son. With some proper training he just might make a great poison maker.

Mikoto, who knew what had happened at the ceremony, sat happily next to her husband and just smiled and waved at her suffering comrades. The Uchiha pride has been avenged!

Well the other children hadn't like the fact that their classmates had given poisonous muffins to their parents one bit. The boys had tried to share their bentos once only for the entire playground to be emptied in record time. The teachers later will swear that it was ten seconds. Alas, it was not a new record, as the current record was made during an Akimichi party where the main food had been dangos and bean soup. The village would forever smell differently.

Naruto, Satoshi and Sasuke soon learned that the other children didn't want to have anything to do with them. This angered the normally calm Satoshi so much that he one day declared a prank war.

To avoid suspicion, not that they could since Satoshi had yelled for half an hour about how no one in the academy will remain sane by the end of the prank war, they studied and trained as hard as they could to be on top of the class.

They had long since learned to switch places with objects and to celebrate they had drawled faces on their training logs and after putting them in a strange circle they set them aflame. The circle, and also the weird prayer that forever mentally crippled a Hyuga that was just passing by, was found in a strange book called "The bible of Jashin". The poor Hyuga kept repeating again and again "little devil worshipers" as he was being transported to the asylum, much to the amazement of the clan.

All in all life was good for Sasuke, Satoshi and Naruto. Satoshi, however, had kept his word and with incredible vicious glee and started sneaking into people's homes to put paint in their shampoos and bugs on their pets.

In one particular case when a new teacher had made called him Pinky he had snuck in, found the man's Icha Icha collection and mercilessly shredded it. After that he putted it in the washing machine. Satoshi never knew that watching a grown man with puffed eyes from crying trying to teach children can be so amusing.

For Naruto the prank war was his battle and Konoha-his battlefield. With the help of Sasuke, Satoshi himself couldn't come as he was too busy putting pepper in the bags of sugar in the bakery next to the academy as the baker had refused to sell Naruto a cookie, Naruto had created his masterpiece.

The Konoha monument, thought of as the most famous tourist attraction in Fire Country, was painted orange, blue and pink with little figures of "Hello Kitty" and the Jashinist symbol painted all over the Kage's faces.

The children were a little disappointed when they found out that not only were they not suspected but a man named Hidan was blamed for their ingenious prank and their achievement was listed under the man's name in the bingo book.

Then a Monday came. It was a normal Monday for the boys. Get up, race for the showers before Fugaku manages to get in the toilet with a newspaper. Race for the kitchen before the breakfast gets cold and then curse the evil day that was known as Monday for not being Saturday, Sunday or Friday afternoon.

Their day in the academy had been quiet due to a prank involving a cat named Tora and the girls of the class, who, to their credit, had tried to save the kitty from the woman/whale but had suffered her hugs of doom instead.

As the three boys headed home, the orphanage caregivers had long since quitted on trying to make Naruto and Satoshi stay in the orphanage, they couldn't help but feeling like something was amiss.

First the guards watching the front gate were missing. It was uncommon for them to be absent during night time, even when there was a festival in the village or the compound there were always at least five Uchihas keeping watch.

Then the children noticed how dark it was. Satoshi stopped in his tracks and the two other boys stopped walking also. Naruto was the first to address him after seeing his friend's petrified expression.

"Hey Satoshi what happened? Is a mob of everyone we had pranked lining up to tell us on Mikoto-kaasan?"

In response the pink haired child just pointed a shaking finger in the direction of the dimly lit bakery of the compound and didn't say a word, too shaken to. The two other boys looked in the direction that their friend was pointing and immediately wished they hadn't. The small light from the street lamp was illuminating two corpses, Sasuke's granduncle and grandaunt.

Sasuke, shaking all the while, took out his flashing light from his bag pack and turned it on. What he saw would haunt his dreams forever. There was blood pooling out of every house, he saw a head of a toddler rolling on the streets, the very same one that they had once used to prank a couple of noble ladies who were visiting their mother.

A scream was heard and Sasuke numbly registered it was he who was screaming. Next to him Naruto was shacking his head back and forth and pinching his arm as if this was all just a nightmare and he could wake up if only he caused himself enough pain. Satoshi was frozen in his place, finger pointed at the bakery.

Naruto, giving up the hope that what he was seeing wasn't real, immediately tried to get his friends out of their stupor and to safety. Even dragging them to the orphanage sounded like a good idea at the time. He knew that if this was what greeted them at the entrance if they go further in they'll be greeted by even more death. Seeing both of his friends frozen in their places he just couldn't let them see what he himself didn't want to even acknowledge as a possibility.

The blonde knew that the Uchiha matriarch and patriarch, the people who had welcomed Satoshi and him into their family and became their parents, may be dead. Naruto knew what his reaction might be at seeing their bodies; he knew how heartbroken he will surely be.

Glancing at Sasuke he winced imagining his reaction. They were the boy's real parent, they had loved him since day one and if they were dead then so might be Itachi. Sasuke would not be able to endure the pain; he just wouldn't be able to.

So with a made up mind Naruto addressed his friends with a shaky and quiet voice, just in case if whoever did all of this was close by.

"We need to go and alert the village of the attack. Satoshi snap out of it and help me pick Sasuke up!"

As if waking up from a dream Satoshi nodded and lifted one of Sasuke's arms and put it around his shoulder. When Naruto did the same whit the other hand they started walking towards the exit as fast as they could.

Little did they knew they were being watched by a genjutsu wearing Root member left behind to roughen up the last remaining Uchiha and tell him the speech that Itachi Uchiha had written as a massage for him. The nameless Root looked at the two boys supporting the Uchiha. One was a Haruno and the other was the jailer of the Kyuubi. He knew that he couldn't kill them and yet just telling the Uchiha to grow strong and leaving them all unscratched would not give the effects that Danzo-sama wanted.

The Root jump down right in front of the children and noted that they immediately brightened. To them he was no other than Itachi Uchiha himself and as such he was their beloved older brother. With one swift movement he send two shurikens to paralyze the boys supporting the Uchiha child. The two boys collapsed, their blood spraying the Uchiha's face.

"Older brother, why? Why did you attack us? Couldn't you see that we are not the enemy?! Brother we must take them to the hospital. They are losing too much blood…"

Sasuke was interrupted by another shuriken being thrown but this time it was aimed at his head and to avoid it he collapsed on the ground between his friends.

"Be quiet, foolish little brother! Are you so blind that you can't see that it was I who killed our family?"

"But why, brother?" Sasuke asked, knowing full well that he will be terrified by the answer.

"Because this clan is rotten! They kept me from reaching my potential as a shinobi! They deserved nothing else…"

The Root member was then interrupted by someone using a chakra scalpel directed towards his vital spots. As he started dodging the medic nin, for it was rare for anyone outside their field of work to learn that particular technique, he saw that the younger Uchiha had picked himself up and his two companions and was slowly but surely dragging them in the direction of the hospital. He meant to give chase but the chakra scalpel came dangerously close to his neck and he focused his attention on his assailant.

Meanwhile Sasuke was making a huge effort to carry his friends. If the Root had stared at the boy's face he would have immediately killed him. Sasuke's eyes were red with the sharingan. The boy had seen thought the genjutstu and knew that that man was not his brother but he had also registered the Konoha symbol on the man's ANBU mask.

Sasuke shook his head forcing his mind to focus on his friends. He had to carry them to the hospital but they were too heavy and weren't helping any since they were in shock. Finally the last Uchiha couldn't go on any further and collapsed in the same sandbox that he had first met the two boys. Unwilling to let them go he hugged them and wept in their hair, silently willing them to wake up and stop bleeding.

When the adrenaline rush, which has been keeping him going, ran out, he himself fell to the ground and started losing consciousness. As he was thinking about how the imposter would defeat the person that had defended him and come to finish them off a grey haired teen, around his brother's age, came into the clearing. He silently picked all three of them up and headed towards the hospital.

Before losing his battle to stay awake Sasuke dimly noted that this was the person that had defended them. Their savior.

TBC

* * *

Next time: He had always hated hospitals but now he felt like he wanted to tear the damn place apart. Satoshi and Naruto had the same look on their faces and the nurse just kept watching them with those damn pity filled eyes of hers.

FINALY FINISHED!

The person is Kabuto, for those that may be hoping for Kakashi. As for why he was there and why he did what he did well you all will have to wait for the next chapter for that.

As for why I made the entire root pretending to be Itachi and why I didn't want to let Sasuke see the corpses, well I didn't want to have to turn him into a sick bastard later on and this was the only believable way that I could think of to avoid it. Sasuke seeing throe the genjutsu is simple. It was designed for non Uchiha and people who weren't that good whit genjutsu in case someone walked in during the massacre.

The plot bunny wants to thank all 3 of the wonderful reviewers and to ask you all to review so that his cuteness won't disappear!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

Chapter Five: After the fall

"**If you feel responsible for us prove it!"- Naruto to Kabuto**

In a plain looking hospital there were three beds and one chair. Originally in the room there was only one bed but after a panic attack from the last Uchiha two more beds were brought in along with a chair in which a grey haired teen sat and patiently watched over the three sleeping boys.

Kabuto was surprised by what he had done the previous night. He was merely fallowing his master's orders and spying the Uchiha clan as per usual. Then suddenly he nearly had his cover blown by twenty ANBU squads barging in the clan compound and starting to murder every Uchiha they could get their hands on.

Had it been another clan he would have just retreated in order to not get in the middle of the carnage but that particular clan possessed the sharingan that his master so desired. Against so many elite shinobi the young genin knew he stood no chance so he was forced to wait and hope that when they retreat they will leave the bodies behind so he can find a survivor to bring to his master.

Kabuto had waited and yet one of the strange ANBU had been left behind, still wearing a genjutsu as if waiting for someone to appear. After a while Kabuto got the answer to his unspoken question. Three boys appeared: a blonde, a pink haired one and one with black hair. The one with the black hair had the Uchiha symbol on his clothes which made Kabuto smile. He might just be able to deliver the sharingan to his master if he played his cards right.

The medic noted that the children were shocked and then that the ANBU had started heading their way. As Kabuto watched the ANBU attack the non Uchiha boys he became alarmed. What if he harms or cripples the Uchiha? He just couldn't let it happen!

With his mind made up he charged the ANBU with a chakra scalpel and drove him away from the three boys. When he was finished with him, he had done so merely because he managed to slip a fast spreading poison in his opponent's body, he went back to where he left the children only to see they were gone.

He remembered how panicked he was, thinking that there was another ANBU that had finished them off and now on top of that his cover was blown. To his delight he noticed a blood trail leading towards the hospital. He smirked, so the Uchiha had put himself together for his friends.

The trail had taken him to a playground and what he saw broke something in him. There was the Uchiha boy, a member of a power hungry clan that cared only about their own or so he was told, hugging his friends close and rocking them back and forth while crying in their hair.

Silently, as to not spook the already terrified child he made his way to them and just picked them up and held them close, much like the Uchiha had held the other two boys. He moved on auto-pilot and was shaken out of his thoughts by a group of nurses that were trying to pry his cargo out of his vice like grip.

He blinked, noticing where he was, and reluctantly let them go. He had gone to the hospital instead of one of Orochimaru-sama's safe houses. Why? He was trained to be a spy and an infiltrator and yet he had taken his target to a place where his master will undoubtedly have a hard time reaching it as the hospital was guarded by some of Konoha's elite shinobi 24/7.

He had undoubtedly saved these children's life by doing this. He had also killed for them although to be fair he was doing what needed to be done back then to secure an Uchiha. So why did he not just grabbed him and run? Why did he take the two other boys as well? The pink haired one was of no importance to his master and the Kyuubi wouldn't have let its jailor die, even if it was only to prevent its own death.

Kabuto remembered what had happened after he handed them over too well for his own liking. The Uchiha, later he learned his name was Sasuke, not really harmed physically panicked when the two other boys were carried away by the nurses towards the medic nins so they can be given immediate treatment. He had started kicking and yelling and when the nurse refused to let him go he had attempted to literally scratch the woman's eyes out.

The nurse, being a civilian, could do little but to attempt to keep the hands of the shinobi in training away from her face. In a fit of desperation she had turned towards him and, probably recognizing him as the one who brought the child in, threw Sasuke in his arms.

Seeing him the boy stopped his struggling and buried his face in his t-shirt and started crying again. Then in a moment of clarity Kabuto answered all of his own questions. The boy had done exactly the same thing he himself had when he had first met Orochimaru that dreadful day, surrounded by the corpses of his family. His master had simply held him then, allowing him to cry as much as he could. He himself wondered if he was ready to do the same for this boy who, not just ten minutes ago, he was going to hand over to a short life filled with misery.

He didn't decide and yet he did it anyway. The next morning as he was watching over their sleep, one that had been interrupted numerous times and every single one of them he had hugged the boy who was having a nightmare until the child was calm enough to be put down again, he couldn't help but acknowledge the fact that by not taking the Uchiha to a safe location he had betrayed his master. He supposed that now that the deed was done it couldn't be helped.

As Kabuto buried his face in his hand he chuckled softly. So it seamed that his heart hadn't died along with his family and here he thought that life has finally becoming a simple affair.

"Who are you?"

Kabuto looked up to see the Uchi…no Sasuke, he needed to start remembering their names because it seemed that they were his to look after from now on, staring at him. The other two boys had also woken up and they looked just as broken as their friend. He was a shinobi, a killer, he had created these looks in the past and yet he didn't want to see them on the faces of children who reminded him so much of himself that it was painful.

"I am…"

He started and stopped. Who was he now, really? Sasori's little failed spy trainee? No his former teacher had abounded him when he had tried to get close to the puppeteer, for his teacher was unwilling to let anything keep him human.

A loyal medic of Konoha? Not that either. Even though he was adopted by the village he had came to it as a spy working for Orochimaru and even if the villagers could forgive that, which was as likely as someone finding a way to prevent death for ever and sharing the secret with the entire world, the body of the ANBU will definitely lead whoever send it to him.

Was he Orochimaru-sama's right hand in training? No, the truth was that deep down he had always knew that the man really didn't care about him and regarded him as a tool. After his betrayal he would surely take a high ranking spot on his former master's hit list.

So, what was he going to tell these children? The only think that he now had, apart from their fledgling trust in him, were his two names. His first one, Kabuto, was something he had from his mother, a woman he had loved more than life itself. His last one, Yakushi, was picked more by his master than the man who was "watching" over him in Konoha. But Kabuto Yakushi was just a name. Instead of using it to indentify himself he had used masks, given to him by all of those people who had controlled his life in the past.

What he had done yesterday had not been done to complete a mission. It was just a random act of kindness, or maybe it was out of mercy, that he had done in the heat of the moment. Watching their faces he couldn't help but realize that everything else he had to indentify himself before had crumbled because of them. The strange thing was that he didn't hate the three boys now resting in hospital beds right in front of him. He felt calm and, dare he say it, happy that with one move he had made going back to his former life impossible.

"I am Kabuto Yakushi!"

It felt strangely liberating to say it and he meant it. He was Kabuto Yakushi and in this new life he had apparently started living he would stay Kabuto to the very end. He was going to show everyone that he was not faceless, that he too had the rite to have his own free will! He was going to be the very best Kabuto Yakushi he could be, no matter what Sasori, Orochimaru or Konoha might have against it!

While he was thinking the three friends were holding a small council.

"Sasuke, why is he here?" asked Satoshi confused.

"He was the one to fight off the person that attacked us and to carry us to the hospital. He was here the entire night, guarding us."

"Sasuke, what are you saying? We saw the man who threw those shurikens and it was Itachi!"

Wincing at Naruto's loud outburst Sasuke contemplated the possibility that perhaps it was best to not tell them about what he had seen. He cared about his friend dearly but Naruto couldn't keep a secret to safe his life and in this case if he suddenly started talking to the wrong person it may be the death of all of them.

"Yes, it was him, but Kabuto fought him off so we could get away. We should stay with Kabuto for now or have him live with us, we don't know if Itachi might come back."

Satoshi narrowed his eyes. Sasuke was hiding something. The Uchiha had lost his entire clan and was suddenly trusting a complete stranger who just so happened to be passing by a massacre. He knew that Sasuke wouldn't lie to them if he didn't absolutely have to and that sooner or later he would tell them the truth.

With a stern face he addressed the teen that was lost in thoughts but had a strange triumphant look plastered all over his face that made him look like a convict who had just heard that his death sentence was revoked.

"Why did you help us?"

"I don't know"

The looked that the stranger gave him while saying this scared him a little and yet Satoshi refused to back down. By the way Sasuke was staring at shinobi a person might mistake him for an old friend who the raven haired boy had knowed since forever. Naruto was just clutching the ends of his blanket and although he couldn't see it he knew that his blonde friend was crying.

He had to be the strong one this time! He just couldn't freeze like yesterday, or has it been longer since his life has been shattered? He had to be the one to make sure that this Kabuto will be wiling to help them as Sasuke said!

"Will you keep helping us or will you leave us here?"

"Yes I will take care of you; you'll never be alone as long as I'm alive!" And I won't be either, finished Kabuto in his mind. The pink haired boy looked him straight in the eyes and said:

"Why?"

Without missing a bit Kabuto gave his three new charges a bright smile.

"Because I saved you three. When you do something like that you are responsible for those whose life you have prolonged. You are supposed to keep protecting them until they can leave the past behind. You are supposed to acknowledge them as precious to you and never leave them behind."

Then, much to Kabuto's surprise, the blonde raised his head and shouted.

"If you feel responsible for us prove it!"

Kabuto rose up from his chair and approached him. He then used his sleeves to dry the child's tear stained face and picked up the two other boys and put them next to the sniveling blonde.

"I will protect you with my life if I have to. I will not separate you. I will not abound you. I will remember you when the world forgets you. I will make a new life for the three of you. I can't promise that it would be happier than the one that was just stolen from you, because that is not possible, but I promise that it would be full of happiness and trust. Now I'm going to get you three a new set of clothes and to see what can be done to check you out sooner. After that you'll live with my father and I until you feel better, or you can live with me forever, if that is what you want. Now be good and no more attempts at killing the nurses!"

After Kabuto petted each one of their heads he headed outside, fully knowing that the promise that he had just made to those three six year olds was the only thing, apart from his name, that he now had left in this world. His reason for living and not handing himself over to Orochimaru.

Back in the room with the three beds a nurse came to fill the now vacant chair only to see the boys cuddling each other as if to protect themselves from the world. She felt a pang of sorrow for them, even for the Kyuubi jailor, but was forced to look away when the Uchiha glared at her.

He had always hated hospitals but now he felt like he wanted to tear the damn place apart. Satoshi and Naruto had the same look on their faces and the nurse just kept watching them with those damn pity filled eyes of hers.

With a final glare Sasuke hugged his friends harder and prepared to fall asleep again, too tired to do anything else.

TBC

* * *

**OK FAQ TIME:**

**- Kabuto is a villain! What have you been smoking?!**

**-Well this is an AU and the Kabuto from canon is not the Kabuto from "**_**Pinky and the big bad shinobi world**__**" remember that everyone and read with an open mind. Also the guy practically signed his death sentence when he saved Sasuke and co and he has no where else to turn to so he, just like a drowning man, caught the thin lifeline offered to him. **_

_**- Why is Sasuke so calm? He just lost his family!**_

_**- **_**He didn't see a vision of his clan's death like in canon, his parents corpses and he did raged during the hospital admittance scene, remember the nurse and the almost scratched out eyes? Beside that he knows it wasn't his brother, but that doesn't mean he suddenly knows who did it which left him with the chance to be worried over his friends rather than vowing revenge.**

_I can't think of anything else that might cause a riot. Also it has been pointed out to me that I make mistakes while writhing. I'm really sorry about that but I'm doing everything that I can to prevent that. I read the chapter before posting it to weed out as many mistakes as I can but English is not my native language and I can't notice all of them. _

**Well that was all I wanted to say. Please review to let me know what you think of my story. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

Chapter Six: Stand up and keep going!

"**Outside these gates the world is ruthless; battles are fought and there is no safe place. Make up your mind and give me your answer before the situation escalates to the point of no return."- Kabuto to Naruto, Sasuke and Satoshi**

The next morning the three boys woke up to see that Kabuto had moved his chair closer to their bed and had somehow fallen asleep. He was slightly drooling and he was also hugging a bag.

Naruto, being a prankster at heart, couldn't stop himself. He untangled himself from the cuddle pile and moved so he had access to the grey haired teen's ear. After taking a deep breath he shouted at the top of his lungs.

That was something Naruto would regret forever as Kabuto hadn't liked being woken up by someone shouting "TARZAN" in his ear and after fully waking up he grabbed the blonde in a headlock and started to mercilessly pull the child's ear. Sasuke and Satoshi had no sympathy for their "fallen comrade" and his pleas for mercy and forgiveness only met laughter.

When Kabuto was satisfied, and proclaimed that the punishment dealt, he put Naruto back in the bed with one last tug of the boy's ear.

"So are you ready to get out of here, kiddos?"

The three boys nodded like three over acting puppies and got dressed in record time. Kabuto picked Naruto and put him on his back as a form of an apology for tugging the poor boy's ears, which to Naruto himself would forever be longer. Then he took both of Sasuke and Satoshi's hands and headed outside in the direction of his house.

What the boys were faced with on the way there was something they could never forget. Everyone had seemingly forgotten who these children truly were. Everyone was sending looks of sorrow their way, some even being genuine, but underneath most of them there was something that screamed play pretence.

The boys knew that those damn villagers were just happy that their tragedy hadn't befallen them and that also at the same time they were happy they had something to gossip about. That realization made them narrow their eyes at the bystanders.

Mercifully enough their walk had been a short one. As they entered the house Kabuto promptly put Naruto on the ground and beckoned the two other children to sit in front of him.

"Sasuke I must ask you something important and I want you to answer me truthfully. Who attacked you that night?"

Sasuke furrowed his brows. Kabuto had been nothing but kind to his friends and he but if he told him the truth he would certainly endanger all of their lives. Still it had been Kabuto that had fought their assailant off and he was in danger already anyway. With those thoughts Sasuke looked up and stared Kabuto straight in the eyes and revealed his bloodline limit.

"I don't know but I do know it wasn't my brother! That man was wearing a genjutsu and I saw thought it with the sharingan!"

Then Kabuto nodded and started talking.

"It is as I feared then. You know too much and that puts you in danger. I too saw through the genjutsu but only thanks to my training. We have to decide what happens from now on and decide fast, the strange ANBUs may already be after us"

Sasuke lowered his head and turned his sharingan off. He didn't know what to do. He just looked at his friend's faces for support and wasn't disappointed. They had determent expressions and seemed to have already made dissuasion on the matter for Satoshi started speaking.

"The three of us will leave Konoha. It was our home but it was also the home of the Uchiha clan and that clan was our heart. Konoha killed it and it is now trying to kill us so we can't stay here. The question is: Is what you said at the hospital true? Will you come with us?"

Before Kabuto could answer Naruto began talking in an attempt to back his friend up in convincing the grey haired teen.

"If the answer is yes then you'll have to protect us on the road and to take care of us. You'll have to teach us ninjutsu so we can become powerful shinobi and to keep us out of trouble, especially when we prank a strong ninja by mistake, and we will, believe it!"

Feeling more confident Sasuke sagely lifted his head and, in the same manner as he had once explained to his two friends how to build houses from sand, he begun speaking with his index finger raised high in the air.

"For you see we are the little pranking devils that can have Konoha shaking with fear with just the right combination of paint, dung bombs and rotten fruits and we are not going to stop out villainous ways just because we are in danger! So if you are going to take care of us and protect us you better be prepared to have nerves of steal because you'll need them!"

Kabuto blinked once, twice and after returning to the land of the semi-sane he promptly poked each one of the boy's noses with a smile on his face.

"The answer is yes but if you prank me _**I'll prank you back**_."

With great amusement Kabuto watched them nod at one another and then turn towards him at the same time. He chuckled; his new charges were just too cute. Then his face was marred with a frown.

He doubted that those kids knew what was in store for them outside of Konoha. He even doubted they had even ever been outside of it before! He was a spy and was pretty sure that he knew a couple of safe ways to leave not only the village but the country as well. Still it felt wrong taking them with him to ward off his loneliness without a proper warning.

"Outside these gates the world is ruthless; battles are fought and there is no safe place. Make up your mind and give me your answer before the situation escalates to the point of no return."

The three boys without missing a bit answered.

"We already did. Whenever you lead us we will fallow as long and as far as we can, Kabuto Yakushi!"

Kabuto was surprised to hear them talk at the same time but then put what his students/charges would later nickname "the serious mask".

"Alright. While you were still in the hospital I arranged transport, as taking you out of Konoha was my original idea anyway. We will hide in a cart that is leaving for Iwa and we would travel a part of the way there and when we reach a point where we'll be far enough away from Konoha the merchant that is giving us a ride will drop us off and then we will chose a direction in which we can head at random. I had already packed my belongings and everything I can get my hands on that would be of value from the Uchiha clan compound so you three just rest."

Sasuke, Naruto and Satoshi made a triangle on the floor and started talking or, more accurately, Sasuke was explaining the events of the previous night as Naruto and Satoshi mercilessly interrogating him.

Kabuto looked at them fondly. They were a new beginning and a chance for the real Kabuto Yakushi to finally be alive. He should do something symbolic to mark this event in his life and what better than to alter his appearance slightly, to make a new look for a new Kabuto? Humming a song he had once heard he took a kunai from his poach and started to cut his long hair. (Imagine Kabutomaru's hair length, sorry for the interruption.)

After he was finished he beckoned the three boys to him and then gave them each a backpack to carry, filled with sealing scrolls. After he put his own over his shoulders he led the boys outside and to the place where the merchant was waiting for him. He helped the kids to get in and then paid half the negotiated price to the man, just in case he decides to double cross them, after which he too got in.

The three boys huddled together next to Kabuto during the check out of the village and only when the cart slowly started moving out of the village did they dare to take a look out of the little crack in the canvas surrounding them. They saw their former home becoming smaller and smaller until they could barely read the sights on the gates. As they watched the three couldn't help but wonder if this was what a new beginning felt like.

* * *

**Now I want to say that this chapter was especially hard for me to write. You see I had two possible paths for it. Path number one: Well if I had picked this one Satoshi and co would have stayed in Konoha, under Kabuto's care, but sooner, rather than later, Danzo would have figured out that Sasuke and Kabuto knew the truth and then he would have given chase. Then I would have been forced to get Sasuke, Satoshi and Naruto out of Konoha in the most dramatic way possible, killing Kabuto in the process to make the story believable. After that they would have traveled the shinobi continent and I would have had to make their survival believable but lets face it three six year olds, even if one is the keeper of the nine tails, living on their own long with Danzo's root operatives after them is not very likely. Besides it would have brought too much drama in the story, not that there isn't any, mind you, the Uchiha massacre chapters needed it, but the genres I'm aiming at are humor and adventure and can you be happy or have an adventure while running for your life?**

**So after I thought things through I decided to go with the path they have now taken. Its not that unbelievable that Kabuto can protect them, he is a student of both Sasori and Orochimaru and if nothing else he can hide them somewhere while he drives the enemy away. Beside that with the next chapter this story will start earning its adventure tag!**

_Now I hope that was enlightening and please don't forget to review!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

_**Show arc: Part I**_

Chapter Seven: The curtains rise

"**Well thanks for the story Tobi, Madara was really cool, pity it ended like it did."- Satoshi to Tobi/Madara/Obito (I'm really confused on this one but NO SPOILERS IN THE REVIEWS!) while he gives him a hug**

And so their journey began. As planed they stopped at the Kannabi Bridge just outside of Kusakagure. Then after they made a decision, which just was actually the three children stopping with their shouting at the map and letting Kabuto chose in the end, they headed out as quickly as they could, jumping from tree to tree.

Every time they got tired, and due to their age that happened a lot, they would come down and seat under a tree so Kabuto can tell them all a story while they were having a light snack.

Life was really good for the travelers but one day it all changed. They had decided not to go in Kusakagure and just head to Yagakagure while keeping to the back roads of the land of rivers and the land of rice and watching their backs during the crossing of the famous area between the two countries knowed as Mountain's graveyard.

Kabuto had chosen Yagakagure because nowadays it was more of a tourist attraction, because of its numerous hot springs, but it still held its status as a shinobi village and could give protection to shinobis from different countries if said rouge ninja was rich enough.

As they traveled however they couldn't help but notice the strange state of the in-between wilderness. It was almost like a battlefield of summoning clans. The atmosphere was made even more ominous by the presence of a strange chakra tainting the air.

The three children would tell each other stories of legendary monsters and would wonder which one lived here until Kabuto put a stop on their fun, being scared himself of whoever or whatever was out there.

From the shadows a masked man watched them. He had an orange mask with only one eye hole and was wearing a black clock with red clouds. The Akatsuki member known as Tobi could hardly hold his frustration in. These children had walked into his hiding place and he could recognize the Kyuubi's holder and the eldest boy looked just like that overexcited pupil of Sasori's.

He couldn't kill them, or more accurately, he couldn't kill the Kyuubi, but he couldn't let them get out of his territory so they can tell everyone about what they have sensed in the Mountain's graveyard. He had to do something he really hated doing to put them at ease and to get them out of there without them speaking about this place ever again.

With a sigh he made his mind and smiled behind his mask even though he actually wanted to strangle someone. He, the most powerful Uchiha of them all, the soon to be destroyer of Konoha and the future sage of six path had to behave like Tobi, the idiot of the Akatsuki organization.

He made a clone so that it would make some noise in the opposite direction in order for the eldest to leave camp so he could persuade the three boys to whine and bitch at the grey haired teen for them to leave already.

When the grey haired teen had finally taken the bait Tobi approached the camp only to see that two of the boys were asleep in a sitting position while the third one, a child with pink hair…damn those Haruno's were still around, was staring right back at him, clutching a bucked of paint.

"Don't come closer if you don't want to be purple for the rest of your miserable existence!"

Tobi had to admit that he liked that kid's attitude. It reminded him of a good, but slightly crazy, friend of his that hailed from the same clan as the boy. Staring at the boy's hair he could remember his companion's downfall like it was yesterday.

The raving lunatic had attempted to make a soup out of the three tailed turtle demon, needless to say the turtle had eaten him and surprisingly enough the great beast had gotten indigestion which forced it to spit him out.

His friend had apparently eaten of the internal organs of the demon which later killed him, much to the disappointment of the entire clan as he had for the most part behaved sane during his life and had been the Haruno clan's last hope to prove that they weren't a group of pink haired nutcases.

He remembered laughing at the funeral. It had been only that particular Haruno that understood his goals and the actions needed to reach them. That fact really spoke a lot about Madara's dreams, and none of it was good.

Tobi was snapped out of his flash back by sensing that the Haruno was preparing to repaint him and hastily began talking.

"I'm Tobi and Tobi is a good boy! Tobi travels a lot and trades stories with people! Do you want me to tell you one?"

Satoshi sized him up and just nodded. That man looked ridicules and couldn't possibly pose a treat to him and his friends, hell Satoshi had his doubts about that man being able to kick a puppy let alone harming three boys.

As he was given the permission Tobi pondered on which story should he tell. He himself had his doubts about his path and if he heard a confirmation of his goal, even if it was from a deranged Haruno, it would mean the world to him. So without further ado he began telling his life's story.

"Once upon a time there was a great kingdom named the Fire Kingdom. In it lived two princes, one of the Uchi line and the other of the Sen line. The two princes went by the names Madara and Hashirama. Hashirama was loved by the people and though of as superior to Madara, even though Madara was far cooler and according to his best friend Haru, of the Haruno noble line, he was quite the sociopath."

Madara stopped as the small boy had raised his hand in question.

"Yes?" He asked impatiently.

"Haru Haruno? Is he the same as my great great uncle who died by eating a turtle? Wicket!"

"Yes, Tobi thinks it's him, Haruno-chan."

"Hey, use the chan suffix with my name again and, story or no story, you'll become purple!"

Tobi sweat dropped at the treat, talking to this kid was the same as talking to his friend, to think his comrade had had the mentality of a child was quite unsetting.

"Ok, but now back to the story. You see one day there was a tournament about who is the strongest. The tournament had been planned for a very special guest, the lovely princess of Whirlpool country, princess Mito.

Captured by her beauty prince Madara completed the task of the tournament, defeating a terrible fox demon, and when he turned around to talk to her, right after he had toughed the fox how to sit, row and stay on its back legs to impress the princess, the princess was already laughing at something, undoubtedly stupid mind you, that prince Hashirama had said.

Imagine prince Madara's rage when, not even a month or two after that, prince Hashirama and princess Mito got married. Prince Hashirama had to only wave his pretty straight hair around for princess Mito and then suddenly they are together! On top of that he was proclaimed king and Madara's family suddenly forgot all about the sacrifices prince Madara did for them and started to support prince Hashirama!

He just couldn't live with his disappointment and, after his brother's death, which was by his own doing since he was really ill and he wanted prince Madara to win the tournament to protect the Uchi line, he became overcome with rage and he took back the beast he had tamed and used it to challenge the, now king Hashirama, king "the sun is shining out of my ass" more like, to a duel for the good of the kingdom and queen Mito's love.

Long story short the noble prince failed because he had to stage his own death so that he can rush by his friend's side who had the dump idea of eating a bijuu. Why would Haru Haruno do that when there were so many types of turtles in the world that he could eat without getting poisoned or risk almost being eaten by one the prince would never know. Although he did regret hitting his friend over the head when said friend was already dying…

Anyway, on his death bed Haru gave prince Madara a small book with his training regime in it, a journal filled with the secrets of his power. That journal had an unmistakably Haruno thought up name. It was called: _How to drive people up the wall without repainting it with your blood. _

Prince Madara tried to read it, then he tried to use decoders to uncover its secrets and still he got nothing. Only when he gave it to a Haruno did he figured out the most valuable secret of the great book. It was rather simple actually and, a person with such great intelligent as the prince just couldn't have left it uncovered even if he had tried. The secret was that it takes a Haruno to understand another Haruno's mad ramblings.

But the prince couldn't just leave the book with a random Haruno! No, it was the last thing left to him by his only true friend, who probably remained such just because he didn't know of his betrayal against the crown as he was being too busy getting food poisoning via a very mad turtle, the very though was like a betrayal to his memory.

And so the great prince started to travel the world, finding great knights to aid his cause, who, he had to admit, gave him the creeps, especially knight Hidan. All the time he searched for that one Haruno that would understand him so that he would give him the journal of his dear friend so that Haru's will of…Harunoness…will never die. Although some times the prince questions his sanity as bringing that kind of crazy back into the world could definitely be disastrous for his already questionable mental health.

So Tobi told you the story. Do you like it Haruno-kun?"

In front of him Satoshi stared with his mouth hanging open. So if this story was true his uncle, of which he knew of only because once he had attempted to eat a lizard in the orphanage and the caregivers had been so scared that they had given him his relative as an example of what he should never do, had been so badass that his death brought a prince out of his battle just so said prince can tell him that what he had done was totally stupid and yet awesome at the same time.

Also his uncle, who was now officially his idol, had left a journal. The caregivers at the orphanage had always told him he was a true Haruno every time he did something awesome, read extremely dangerous that no sane person would do, so he must be able to read uncle Haru's book and learn from his wisdom! Read become a sociopath with a psychopath as a friend.

While Satoshi was deep in though Tobi regarded him with a deep disappointment. He had hoped he could get his best friend back through that boy or at least be understood for once and yet the boy looked as if he had mentally broken it. He just stood up to leave when suddenly the boy ran up to him and hugged him.

"Well thanks for the story Tobi! Madara was really cool, pity it ended like it did."

Tobi felt himself really smiling and returning the hug. Trust a Haruno to understand a misunderstood hero when they hear his story. Yes he was the Hero and Hashirama was the antihero, the little boy would have never hugged him if he was the villain!

In his joy he made a decision, he was going to give his friend's journal to the worthy successor he had finally found for him and then when the boy grew up he was going to turn him into and immortal….and forbid him to eat any of the bijuus! He was going to have his Haru number two and he would never be misunderstood by the whole world ever again, read only by 99.99% of it.

As he thought that he sensed that the grey haired boy was coming back and stared at the child, he couldn't take him with him. When he had been younger he had practically raised Haru along with his brother Izuna and that had been a traumatizing experience.

"So now that you have grasped the meaning of the story can you tell Tobi your name so he can entrust the journal to you, young Haruno?"

Satoshi, happily at finally having something of his family's, readily complied.

"My name is Satoshi Haruno and I will life up to uncle Haru's legacy! Now gimmy the book!"

Chuckling softly Tobi unsealed the book from his right arm and handed it over after which he disappeared, with a final hug to the boy of course.

Moments later Kabuto returned to camp to see Naruto and Sasuke peacefully asleep near the fire while Satoshi was reading a book called: _How to drive people up the wall without repainting it with your blood. _Suddenly chills ran up across Kabuto's spine. He didn't like that title; he didn't like it at all.

TBC

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Answers time (reviews):

Kenraknom

The Hokage is a kage and his first priority is the village as a whole so if someone was suddenly to tell the other clans that the Uchiha massacre was an inside job there would be mass panic and some may even leave so I doubt that the Hokage, a hardened shinobi, will put four children, if you count Kabuto as well, above a village.

StarKiss666

I don't know if they'll come back, maybe they will maybe they won't. I haven't thought the story through that far and I don't want to rush it so I won't ruin it.

WindWhistle21

A meeting with Deidara? Sure, he is cool enough guy. I'll see what can be done about that.

Sarekkandarikulover

Well I did quite a bit of character development on Satoshi but I did it subtly, through his actions, because many good stories had bored me by listing qualities and then being unable to prove them.

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Answers time (chapter):

So according to the map in Narutopedia the Mountain's graveyard was Madara/Obito's hideout. I made the meeting with Tobi because I wanted to even up the playing field for the boys. Kabuto is a cool medic/spy and the whoobie of the story. Naruto has the Kyuubi and the Uzumaki clan sealing legacy (the last one will come later) and Sasuke has the sharingan, and more, importantly his sanity.

So what does Satoshi has? A slight disregard for his own life and he is a sociopath…is that a super power? No? I thought so too and I didn't want to turn him into a weakling like the one Sakura was before shippuuden. So there you have it, you're going to watch him as he learns from the journal of a man Madara Uchiha thought of as an equal. Happy? Because I am =).

Now dividing the events into arcs is something I should have done for the Uchiha massacre but back then I didn't know if I'm going to continue or not so I didn't make the effort. Now I'm curtain that this story won't be abandoned any time soon so I'll be doing things properly.

Also do all remember that I won't fallow canon, or at least I'll use it when I need to but I will change everything. Tobi is one such example. In canon this wouldn't have happened but this is a humor/adventure story so things like the Tobi storytelling are needed to make the story bright when it gets too gloomy and in the last chapters it was quite gloomy. Also "Pinky and the big bad shinobi world" is something I created myself, even though I don't own any of the characters, so its universe is mine to shape. In it I'm Tangra, Loki, Lucifer (from SPN) or whoever cool god figure you could think of, just like you all are in your own stories. I will consider you're suggestions in your reviews but if I think that they won't fit in with what I want in the story I won't include them. Sorry about that and I do hope you understand why I will do this.

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Reviews, a joy to any author, are like chocolate after you get a raise in the paycheck. Without it you'll still be happy, but with it you'll be jumping around and laughing like a maniac and it will inspire you to work harder. What I mean to say is: PLEASE REVIEW.

P.S Uchi is Uchiha and Sen is Senju, just saying for those that will undoubtedly decide to correct me because yes, I do know the names of the clans…


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

_**Show arc: Part II**_

Chapter Eight: Welcome to sin city!

"**If the poor dear needs something like this I might as well make sure that he won't shish kebab himself if he slips and fall on it!"- a nameless shopkeeper to Kabuto, much to Satoshi's embarrassment**

Many strange things happened during their travel through the wilderness. Kabuto couldn't help but feel as if they had been escorted to it's very border and into rice country by someone who always left a freshly skinned kill for them and, if the corpses of big predators they would occasionally find were any indication, was protecting them from literately everything.

On top of that Satoshi hadn't handed the book that the "story telling man" had given him and had started to take the lessons inside to heart. It had been quite the shock for Kabuto when he had seen Satoshi playing with a double edged spear longer than the boy himself.

Satoshi himself had tried to explain to Kabuto how the Tenrai Yari, as that was the name of the spear, was something that he had unsealed from his family heirloom and it was thus his, only for Kabuto to grab it, and then throw it as the spear had cut him.

After that day Kabuto started to plot against the spear. That wasn't as much because of the cut, which later he found that it was made through a really tin and fast water based chakra, as the paragraph Satoshi's ancestor had left behind as a warning.

_So you can't kick ass and be cool? Well that won't do! You are a Haruno boy/girl and we kick ass_ _so stop whining! Unseal the Tenrai Yari with your blood so that next time instead of hiding behind a genjutsu or a summoning you can swing it around with panic and can let it cut your enemies! Don't overdo it though! The Uzumakis still want to gut us in our sleep because we sunk half of their territory. Go forth young Haruno, be cool and quit hiding behind others! Seriously, kids these days…_

Kabuto's eyes had twitched for two days after that and his condition had gotten even worse when he realized that Satoshi had allowed Sasuke and Naruto to read from the book to "learn from his ancestor's wisdom". From his ancestor's madness more like it! Kabuto really had to wonder what sort of a sick mind will give a weapon of mass destruction to children!

Still on the other hand he was glad that Satoshi was wiling to share his book. He had been worried there for a minute that the boy would become obsessed with it and as a result become lost in the power, and if the spear wasn't proof that there was indeed hidden power there he didn't know what was, that was in the book.

Their days were mostly calm and peaceful but Kabuto had become increasingly worried as they started to enter the land of rice. It was his former master's plan to take over that country so that he can have a base of operation near Fire Country.

Still the Grey haired teen knew full well that his master wasn't completely finished with the takeover and so he had deemed crossing that country far safer than entering Fire Country again and then choosing a rode to Yagakagure.

After a somewhat calm journey through the countryside they finally reached a rich border city and decided to stay there as their supplies were running low. As they entered from a crack in the massive wall that guarded the city they were faced with a strange picture full of opposites.

On the one side were numerous wealthy merchants, lords and ladies dressed in the latest fashion and wearing expressions on their faces that spoke of detachment and boredom and in the same time of a savage passion for life in all its twisted aspects.

On the other side were people who someone would have mistaken for citizens of a war torn town rather than this prosperous border city. Kabuto knew full well what this town was and who these people were.

This town was one of the "resource" towns that his former master had spoken about not just a year ago. Orochimaru had wanted to fill already build towns with what would attract rich merchants and more importantly their gold so that he could use it to create his army. By the looks of it the snake had succeeded, to an extend.

There were many shops lined along the streets, each more expensive or glamorous than the last. Posters of arenas, theatre performances, beauty saloons and many more could be seen on the free spaces on the walls.

There were gambling houses practically everywhere and to add to the illusion of a paradise for the rich over the river in the city there was something like a tunnel of cherry trees, their blossoms giving a sweat, calming scent, and their petals falling over the heads of those that walked near the river, almost as if to crown them.

As he had expected the three boys were mesmerized by the splendor and would have continued to walk along the riverbank until the end of the day if they could. Satoshi was given many looks by the passerby's, a pink haired boy with pink petals in his hair and a blood red spear almost bigger than him on his back.

The three friends were so lost in the city that in fact they didn't even got angry when some of the wealthy women had cooed at them when they had sat on a bench to rest as they had walked the entire day without a break.

As much as Kabuto hated to disturb their momentary wonder he knew that they were far too different from the inhabitants of this town. They had to fit in, and fast, before they were written off as runaways and reported to the local authority.

With a made up mind he ushered his charges towards a clothes shop that looked secluded enough to get them some "proper" clothes so that they could fit in this den of vultures and snakes.

As he entered the shop he had already knew which web of lies he could use for the kind looking shop keeper. He had gone to great lengths to explain to her that they were all the sons of a lord, half brothers with different mothers, and he had, as the heir of the family, decided to take his brothers on a journey for a month or two as they didn't have much opportunity to see the world.

On the way here, he told the old woman, they had encountered a group of bandits that had almost killed them but their trusted samurai, as any lordling worth his name travelled with samurais, had managed to save them and brought them here instead of to their original destination.

But alas the bandits had managed to set the wagon carrying their clothes ablaze and unfortunately they were forced to endure these peasant garments and on top of that his baby brother, Satoshi, had been so scared of the attack that he started to carry a spear everywhere he went.

The shopkeeper, being accustom to such stories as the surrounding areas were quite dangerous, immediately went to find them kimonos that would fit their status and she even found an ornamented holster for Satoshi's spear because: "If the poor dear needs something like this I might as well make sure that he won't shish kebab himself if he slips and fall on it!"

The boys were mercifully quiet during the whole ordeal, hiding behind their "older brother" as if they truly were just spoiled princes who had just seen the real world for the first time and were terrified of it.

Their performance had been so good in fact that the shopkeeper lady had given them chocolate chip cookies, for the stress, which the three boys happily munched as Kabuto was saying his goodbye to a woman they would probably never see again.

As they exited the shop and went into the better part of the town they easily became invisible in their new clothes. No one paid them any attention and they were free to pay attention to their surroundings only to see the dirty face of the city.

Behind the shops, theaters and other such establishment there was a quarantine zone where the three boys could recognize some of the faces they had encountered on the way to the city. From it black smoke was rising from piles made of human bodies, the victims of whatever disease was currently raging in the town.

They saw beggars being roughly ushered out of the nicer part of town by police officers, who had even looked at them with suspicion because of their lack of parents but after they noted Kabuto's stern and highly glare and their clothes they just passed them by.

The boys were silent. In Konoha the civilians were mostly merchants or people that provided services for the shinobis and that had led to the village being mercifully devoid of beggars, with them being only in the red light district. None of the boys had ever been there and so this was their first real look of poverty.

Kabuto, being the spy that he was, was no stranger to such a sight. Konoha itself was supported by a town no different and so were most shinobi villages. He knew that he had to find them a hotel, the fancier the better as those usually gave the best privacy.

It hadn't been too hard to find one, the massive building had been towering above all the others and they had seen it from the gates. Getting a suite had been even easier. Kabuto just needed to tell the people on the registry that their parents were watching the show in the arena and had told them to find rooms as they planned to enjoy the nigh life after the matches.

When they entered all of them, even Kabuto, were in awe of the apartment they were given. Their amazement, however, was cut short as Kabuto put all three of the boys on the couch in front of him to talk to them.

"This town is dangerous and it is in danger. It is one of the targets of a very influential man and he will stop at noting to take its riches. He will storm the town walls, capture the nobles to hold them for ransom and plunder the whole place. I know his tactics too well for my own liking and for that I'm telling you that when the plundering starts we must not be here!"

The three boys, still shaken by the burning body piles they had seen earlier, just nodded and let Kabuto pick them up one by one and put them to bed. Satoshi, however, he had to convince that the spear was no teddy bear, to which the Tenrai Yari responded by practically giving him a bath with salty water.

In the end, as that infernal thing refused to budge, Kabuto was forced to admit defeat and to just grind and bear as the thing had the gal to laugh at him. Yes a spear was laughing at him, if it was made by anyone else but a Haruno he would have thought that he was mad but fortunately that wasn't the case.

As he joined them in the "the cuddle" pile he silently drifted to sleep, holding them, and even that spear…thing, close to his heart.

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Next time: They shouldn't have even entered this wretched place! The nobles foolishly thought that the walls will survive and the battles fought outside them were no different than the arena matches. They couldn't leave and there was only one way out of this mess: the town had to survive.

According to the dictionary Tenrai means heavenly and Yari means spear

Don't forget to review.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**** Also I hold no responsibility if someone was to be send to an asylum from laughing like a maniac or any pain caused from the same reason…just saying. **

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

_**Show arc: Part III**_

Chapter Nine: The game is on!

"**And then God said "let the pigs fly", un"- Deidara **

On a moonless night in a quiet hotel room everything was calm. Everything but for a blond haired boy who's eyes were twitching and who would occasionally reach for a brush and an ink bottle and then put them down.

Naruto really liked his new life, he had friends, he had a family and even though he didn't have a permanent home he was happy knowing that Kabuto would always try his best to put a roof over their heads, even if it was that of a tent.

What didn't allow him to rest, however, was the fact that he missed something ever since he had left Konoha. Naruto Uzumaki, number one unpredictable citizen of Konoha and the best prankster there missed… pranking

Just him admitting it to himself made him even more restless. Ever since they had left the village they had to stay hidden and a prank would have given them away. He knew that their life was on the line, why else would they leave Konoha?

Still he missed it all. The chaos he could create, the times when he could smile like the Cheshire cat when it was obvious it was hi that had pranked someone and yet that someone couldn't prove it. The chases that the shopkeepers would give him, the way the chunins, jonins and even ANBU would join them in their effort to catch him and he would lead them into traps full of paint and other wonderful things that would take forever to wash off or that couldn't be washed off at all.

With the fever of an addict he grabbed the ink bottle again and this time he dipped the brush into it. He just needed to stop thinking of the consequences. He knew that Kabuto would be angry though and after everything that the poor teenager had been put through, and he had been through a lot, especially after Satoshi found the Tenrai Yari, he felt remorse.

Still it wasn't that bad really. A simple movement with the brush and he wouldn't be tormented any longer. He couldn't do this to his friends; he knew for sure that Sasuke had been teaching himself from the jutsu scrolls that Kabuto had taken from the Uchiha compound and Satoshi was reading from his book…enough said.

So Naruto decided to count on his best puppy dog eyes, or run as fast as he can, later and drew a mustache on his sleeping guardian's face. Immediately he felt better. He had the urge to wake Kabuto, hand him a mirror and laugh like a maniac just because he hadn't had the opportunity to in what seemed to be an eternity.

He managed to restrain himself. According to Kabuto his ancestors were normal and sane, well most of the time at the very least. If he was to suddenly do what he wanted Kabuto would surely send him to a therapist just like he did Satoshi last week and that had went so badly that the therapist had started going to a therapist.

That simple prank hadn't been enough! He wanted to prank more! Barely suppressing his laughter he took the scroll in which he stored all of his pranking supplies and exited the room tiptoeing.

When he was outside he broke down in a maniacal laughter! He knew that the streets were supposedly dangerous at night, full of bandits and drunkards, but he also knew that in his current state of mind, and more importantly with his deranged expression, he was the only true terror in this town that, after spending almost a month in, he knew as the back of his hand.

And so his limitless energy was put to use. Underwear was hanged above the streets instead of paper lanterns. Electric eels were released into the river. Raccoons were let into the city. Mannequins that looked as if they were living dead were made to move from side to side with ninja wire. Paint was splashed everywhere. The gambling houses suddenly went broke as a young noble boy kept winning and winning…

After he was finally satisfied with his work he started to slowly head back to the hotel room only to have his path cut off by a group of shady looking people. Naruto wasn't afraid of them, their appearance screamed civilian and if push came to shovel he could easily outrun them.

It was obvious what they wanted, he had seen, and defeated them, in one of the gambling houses and they had seen him collect all of his winnings. Much to their future disappointment, however, he had sealed the money away in a scroll and the scroll was currently safely sealed away in his jacked.

As he was preparing to run he heard feint footsteps. Then a devilish though struck him and, well, who was he to deny himself one last prank? Putting his best distressed face on he started to yell at the top of his lungs for his parents. As he had predicted the thugs started to run away, scared from the very idea of his nonexistent parent's guards.

His laughter stopped when he realized he started to hear the steps in his direction until they stopped right behind him. With the great fear that it was Kabuto, ink mustache and all, he turned around only to see a blonde, slightly girly, boy staring at him whit his eyebrows twitching.

At only one glance Naruto could understand the twitching. The boy had apparently been one of the many victims of his pranks and had paint all over him and to add to that a raccoon was on his shower, mimicking the boy's every move.

"You little artless ruffian look what you did! I'm orange, blue and purple! Don't you try to lie to me, I saw you running on the rooftops, causing havoc! Oh, stop that you damn rodent, un!"

Naruto was laughing like he never had before. The raccoon had mimicked very single move that the other blonde did, including the stomp of the foot at the end of the last sentence. The multicolored blonde was currently trying to catch the raccoon, which, much to Naruto's amazement, managed to mimic his assailant's every move while avoiding getting caught. At last the raccoon climbed on the blonde's head and took the poor boy's hair in his hands and pulled.

The resulting cry turned from painful to rage full as the raccoon jumped on Naruto's shoulder. Seeing the mad expression on the other blonde's face Naruto started running back towards the hotel, with a raccoon clutching his shoulders and an enraged shinobi chasing him.

To his credit Naruto ran very fast, but it wasn't meant for him to escape as Kabuto was right there blocking the entrance, ink mustache and all, waiting. Seeing the furious expression on Kabuto's face and comparing it to the blonde's rage he turned back and ran straight to the blonde, jumped on his shoulders and pulled at his ears to make him run in the opposite direction.

The poor boy's hopes were crushed as the blonde stopped running suddenly and that hurled him in the air only for Kabuto to catch him. As he made a last attempt to safe himself with his best puppy dog eyes and his brightest smile he whispered only one word:

"Mercy?"

The response was immediate and Kabuto started to tug on both Naruto and the raccoon's ears, deeming him to be an accomplice. In the doorway Satoshi and Sasuke were watching them, eating popcorn and there was even a bow of popcorn in front of the Tenrai Yari.

In his pain and suffering Naruto might have yelled "Traitors!" a couple of times, he might have also screamed "I regret nothing!" but deep down he knew that the worse was yet to come. Yep, he would be washing the group's socks for at least a month, he could guarantee it.

Deidara stood there and watched. He himself had had his ears pulled when he accidently blew up a couple of historical monuments back at home and he knew the boy's, and the raccoon's, pain. He pitied them to the point that he made a move to grab them out of the hands of the gray haired teen and succeeding, much to his own surprise.

The raccoon, now knowing that he meant him no harm, went back on his shoulders and clutched them for dear life. The boy clutched his ears in pain and looked at him like he was a Masaya of some sort.

The grey haired teen made a step forward and he made a step back. Even though he was pranked, and Deidara hated to be pranked, he knew that no one deserved to have his ears pulled. The two other boys were singing a melody of a movie he had seen not too long ago called "Jaws", the volume of their singing increasing with every step the other teen made towards him and the two devils he was protecting.

"Hi, un! My name is Deidara, un! Now I know they deserve it but you went overboard, my man. So how about we talk civilly about this? You can have some chocolate…scratch that you can have lots of chocolate, and you can remove your moustache and then you can go to sleep and in the morning you'll feel better. So what do you say?"

Kabuto stopped in his steps. He had pulled on Naruto's ear for about five minute, the norm for when he was pranked by the blonde, but this wasn't a normal prank! The entire city was ruined and he knew exactly who had done it.

He had been very careful not to leave any paint where Naruto could see it. His other charges were pranksters too but for Naruto it was an addiction and he knew that them lying undercover was equaled a withdraw for the boy. He knew he shouldn't have thought him sealing, it was so easy to hide a sealing scroll after all.

Still if someone had suffered Naruto's direct pranking and was ready to defend him he supposed that he was being too harsh on the boy. He had spooked the blonde teen, who looked like a shinobi. It wasn't normal for a noble, any civilian really, to scare a shinobi. He had to act fast before the other boy realized he was not who he appeared to be.

"My sincere apologies. My brother can be…irresponsible almost all of the time. Would you like to come to our apartment in the hotel to wash off? It's the least my family could do after my brother dishonored us all and put you through all that he did."

He finished with a respectful bow and watched with satisfaction as it had worked. As they entered the apartment he promised Deidara that he would try to have his clothes washed while in the mean time he could have one of his kimonos since they were not that much different in body size or age.

Later, as Deidara had dressed himself in a yellow kimono with elegant dragon designs, he sat down on the floor only for the blonde and raccoon to run to him and hide behind him. The polite smile on the grey haired teen's face was strained and his fingers were twitching, as if he wanted to grab the ears of the small boy behind him again.

And thus a very intense staring match of epic proportions started between Kabuto and Deidara. The three children were silently betting chores and when Naruto finally managed to make Sasuke bet washing the socks for a month if Deidara losses, a big explosion was heard.

The staring match was broken as they all raced to the windows to see what was happening. Outside the gates shinobis were attacking and the ninjas who had came as an escort for the nobles must have been paid extra for they were defending the walls.

From the top of the walls, surprisingly enough, raccoons were hurling rocks at the attacker, refusing to give up the city when they had finally been allowed in. Underwear could be seen from above the gates, proudly displayed as if it was banners. The colorful walls made it impossible for anyone to blend in with them, slowing down the advances of the enemy.

Next to Kabuto Deidara stood with a god smacked expression and with his mouth hanging open until he remembered he wasn't dreaming.

"And then God said "let the pigs fly", un."

After that, almost as if in a trance, he grabbed the boy he had saved and the raccoon and started to mercilessly pull at their ears.

Kabuto meanwhile groaned and buried his face in his hands. Naruto must have cleaned the gambling houses. He regretted encouraging the boy to gamble now. In fact he shouldn't have even let him try, amazing luck and lack of funds be damned!

If his charge had only created half of the mayhem and had left the gambling houses be, his former master's main income and food source for his army, some nobles would have left, they would have been banished and everything would have been fine.

Now, robbed of his funds, Orochimaru must have decided to get all of the riches that the nobles had brought with them by force. He looked approvingly at the blonde teen that was giving Naruto a very fine taste of divine punishment.

He sure hoped that this boy was a shinobi, a good one at that, because they needed all the help they could get. If all else fails he would just be cruel and unleash Naruto on the enemy's camp!

They shouldn't have even entered this wretched place! The nobles foolishly thought that the walls will survive and the battles fought outside them were no different than the arena matches. They couldn't leave and there was only one way out of this mess: the town had to survive!

* * *

TBC

Next time: This was inhuman, he knew. The enemy shinobi's would never quite recover. Still he was responsible for three boys, a raccoon and maybe a blonde haired teen's live too. He had to do what is best for them and pray that karma won't bite him in the ass.

For those that wanted Deidara here you go! Why was he in town, you ask? Well most likely he was a noble's escort. Rouge nins have to eat too, you know?

If you have any questions review, if you don't, review anyway please.

WindWhistle21 and Kenraknom thanks for your continuing support, much appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

_**Show arc: Part IV**_

Chapter Ten: Mission Impossible!

"**And if you do, many days from now, as you are dying in your burrows, would you give everything for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they can never take our TRASHCANS!"- A part of Sasuke's speech to the raccoon army**

After everything calmed down, or more accurately after Naruto managed to get himself out of Deidara's clutches, everyone sat down to discuss the current situation.

"We could use the raccoons as a cover and make a run for it" said Sasuke excitedly

"We can cause a tsunami with the Tenrai Yari! Uncle Haru wrote in his book how to do it. We just need a bow of water and a raincoat for the ritual!" said Satoshi while hopping from one foot to the other and throwing the spear in the air and then catching it again.

"We can blow them all up, un!" said Deidara with a maniacal expression.

"We can prank the living daylights out of them! I'll even make sure that they are all broke in the end. I just need three cups and a coin!" said Naruto, eager to go back to pranking.

"…" said Kabuto while facepalming.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing! By the way they were giving suggestions it almost seemed like they were having fun! They were in a town which was laid under siege and those nutters were having fun!

Kabuto could feel his eye twitching uncontrollably. Their suggestions were absurd, ridiculous and insane! And that was when Kabuto stopped to think.

Naruto's plan to prank the town had been ridiculous and yet it had worked, in a disastrous sort of way. Sasuke's plan was absolutely hilarious, raccoons were wild by nature, but they were bravely defending the city and its occupants were even feeding them and making them uniforms, which they actually wore with pride.

He didn't know about Deidara's abilities, but if he judged by the teen's expression he had to believe him, no matter how absurd his claims were. As for Satoshi, well he was not going to use that blasted spear if he didn't need to, the damn thing will gloat for months! Worse yet he might be forced to thank it and he couldn't even bear the thought of that.

He had to admit to himself that there was a method to his charges, and his guest's, madness. Maybe if he was to take something from each plan and combine it there might just be a way out of this mess. This was inhuman, he knew. The enemy shinobi's would never quite recover. Still he was responsible for three boys, a raccoon and maybe a blonde haired teen's live too. He had to do what is best for them and pray that karma won't bite him in the ass.

"Okay troops, desperate situations call for desperate measures so listen up!"

He poked Sasuke's nose and addressed him.

"You'll have a raccoon army under your command! Do what you must but make the enemy's food supplies disappear!"

At that Sasuke raised his hand to ask a question, barely hiding his confusion.

"But I don't speak raccoon! And they are now part of the city's military force. How am I to smuggle them out?"

Kabuto furrowed his brows in concentration and then, surprising even himself with his absurd idea, enlighten his charge.

"The raccoons like the uniforms, right? Give them your clan's symbol and they will be over the moon and will fallow you! The enemies wouldn't know what to do with Uchiha raccoons and by the time they act the raccoons would have eaten everything."

Ignoring Sasuke's confused expression and his "Huh?!" he poked Naruto's nose.

"I want the enemy's camp completely cleaned out of money. I want you to be so cruel that the one who is considered there as the richest to be actually the proud owner of no more than a single coin! Show them no mercy!"

Nodding approvingly at Naruto's salute he poked Satoshi's nose next.

"I want you to stay and watch your friend's backs. If something happens do what you've read in that evil book of yours with the spear and, I'm going to regret saying this later, don't hold back!"

Satoshi's smile unnerved Kabuto greatly but he supposed that there was nothing that could be done now. With thoughts of regret he turned towards Deidara, who was impatiently waiting for his task.

"You, my friend, will become a shinobi legend after this battle! This town will build a monument for you, right next to the one they are building for the raccoons! You, dear bomber, will have a simple task. Blow up the tent in the centre of the camp and you will be known as a hero, sort of."

Deidara, who had a dreamy expression on his face just a moment ago, suddenly became alarmed.

"Wait isn't the centre tent for the leader of the attack? Isn't the leader Orochimaru, of the sannin? You know creepy, snakelike, powerful? If I blow up the tent he'll string me up by my entrails!"

Kabuto stood up and made his best inspirational pose.

"Tell me Deidara, why do you doubt your own power? Have you tested it against a sannin? Why are you unwilling to show the bravery that I know you posses?"

"Because I'll die, un."

Kabuto blinked once, twice and then lowered his head. That was one hell of a valid argument, time to change tactics. He grabbed the three children and put them right in Deidara's line of sight.

"If you don't care about the town think of the children. Look at how defenseless they are, how pipsquikish! Will you truly leave them to fend for themselves against an army?"

The boys, naturally, played along. Each making an effort to put their saddest faces on, but, unfortunately, Deidara wasn't moved.

"The blonde one pranked me and the other two are creepy. Since the town is still standing, sort of, you've been doing a great job. Besides you just finished telling them to destroy an army so excuse me if our definitions of defenseless differ."

Faced with this Kabuto knew what to do, even if it was monstrous.

"Well think of your own children then, because if you do not help me to distract Orochimaru long enough for his army to run away because of the chaos that these three will create I'll castrate you!"

At that Deidara agreed and wisely moved a little bit away from the gray haired teen.

"I'll distract Orochimaru by giving him false information. I should be able to stretch the report up to ten minutes before he attempts to murder me. Now go all, to victory!"

His troops didn't move for a while and when they did they started to give each other hugs. With a sigh Kabuto joined as well, it was always good to know someone might cry for you while facing a sannin.

With Sasuke:

As he watched the gathering of raccoons in front of him he couldn't shake the feeling that some of them might attempt to eat him. Still he puffed his chest and started to walk from one end of the line to the other, mentally preparing himself for an inspirational speech.

"Raccoons! Today the enemy wants to take over the town that you took over yesterday! Will you go back to the wild and let them deprive you of your hard won victory? And if you do, many days from now, as you are dying in your burrows, would you give everything for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they can never take our TRASHCANS!"

As Sasuke finished shouting he looked around him. The raccoons obviously didn't react; they had not understood him because, as he had told Kabuto, he didn't speak raccoon. With a sight he went to plan B and took out a cookie, preparing to run.

"Here, try it, take the cookie. I know where to get much more."

As each raccoon was munching on a cookie he put the Uchiha symbol on the back of their uniforms and shouted: "March, to glory!"

The raccoons stopped eating long enough to look at him and then went back to their cookie munching. Disappointed Sasuke went back to plan B. He took the last cookie, which he had been saving for himself, and waved it in the general direction of the food supplies.

"More food that way."

As most of the raccoons had already finished their cookies they started to wildly run in the pointed direction. Unseen during the mad charge the raccoon on the front of the others stole Sasuke's cookie right when the boy was about to eat it.

Reflecting on the lack of discipline of the raccoons and that theft Sasuke had only one thing to say for his troops: Worse Army Ever.

With Naruto:

Naruto, and his raccoon, managed to get into camp easily enough. The blonde just had to blink his baby blues and cry a little for the female part of the army to come to the rescue "of the poor dear that had gotten lost".

After that it was only a matter of time for some of the ninjas, noticing his clothing, to invite him to play a gambling game. From there on it was simple, sure he got accused of cheating a couple of times, but other than that he was now the proud owner of the resources of half the camp. He just didn't have the heart to rob the kunoichis off their hard earned money; the fact that they spoiled him rotten may have something to do with it too.

With Satoshi:

He could see the watch towers, the camp fires and the people. All those machines that could be ruined by even the smallest among of water. Just thinking about it made him all happy inside. Many mechanics will cry tonight.

With a little bounce to his steps he made his way down there. Sure Kabuto had told him to stay put, but the temptation was way too great. As he reached the place were all of the wonderful machines needed to keep the camp as comfortable as possible were kept his cackling practically became uncontrollable.

The mechanics noticed him and being naturally unnerved by "the newest spawn of Orochimaru-sama" they send the bravest among them to shoo him away.

"Hello there, young lad. Are you lost?"

Satoshi turned his head towards the man so he could see his face and, after mentally congratulating himself for managing to make him cringe, began talking.

"Nice machines you have there. It would be a shame if someone was to suddenly release a lot of water near them, wouldn't it?"

By the time the poor man gave his response, Satoshi was already twirling the Tenrai Yari around and soaking everything in the entire camp. The pink haired boy noted with satisfaction as sparks started to fly everywhere, lights started to go off and people were shouting about "the idiot that practices water release near the machines".

Jumping excitedly towards the city he patted the old man's shoulder on his way out. Man this was the best prank he had ever done in his life! With a smile he passed by Naruto, who was being hugged, babied and protected by a lot of women as the males were sending evil looks his way. From the food supply area he could hear the unmistaken sound of raccoons devouring food and people trying to stop them with no success.

Something stopped him in his tracks. There was a black haired guy, soaked from head to toe, that was battling with raccoons who where trying to eat his dinner. He looked positively furious. Hiding behind a tent were Deidara and Kabuto, both looking scared of him. Well that could mean only one thing, his actions had failed the plan and now they were faced with a pissed off sannin.

Satoshi tried to hide, but before he managed the man spotted him and, much to the boy's future horror recognized the Tenrai Yari…and the satisfied expression on Satoshi's face.

"**HARUNO!**"

The mad cry was fallowed by an even madder charge. As Satoshi was trying to use the Tenrai Yari to the maximum of its abilities he couldn't help but regret not training with it more seriously.

The katana came too close to his neck, not slicing his head clean off his shoulder only because the spear created solid ice around him to block the attack. He saw Kabuto dashing out of his hiding spot and starting to block the attacks with kunai and chakra scalpel. Deidara was trying to blow up the sannin, but he was throwing lightning style jutsus around which dispelled the bombs.

Satoshi tried to get out of the battle, he really did, but when the shinobis saw who their leader was attacking they started to attack him. Knowing only how to create walls of water and ice and to dump lots of water on people to defend himself, he could dodge and freeze a few of the close combat shinobis.

But that didn't mean he wasn't left unscratched. His left arm was bleeding from a katana strike that the snake sannin had managed to deliver after he had pushed Kabuto to the side. His feet hurt from all the jumping he had to do while handling the heavy spear. Just when he thought that this was the end a smoke bomb activated and he was pulled away from the sannin.

Naruto was next to him, being serious for once. His blonde friend then took out a powder, homemade one that causes rashes, and threw it at their assailants. The seasoned shinobis looked unfazed and kept attacking, barely being held back by the water barriers of the Tenrai Yari, but the newer recruits went into scratching feats.

The raccoons, having already finished eating, decided to do what had became a hobby of theirs as of late. They threw everything, including dung, at the enemy shinobis. The shinobis that were defending the walls, noticing that their "comrades" were fighting, joined the melee. The jonins managed to distract Orochimaru long enough for Kabuto to retreat to Deidara's side to heal both their wounds.

On the walls the nobles started to appear with binnacles, treating the battle bellow as another arena match. Some even started to throw rotten fruits at the enemy, some of which even hitting Orochimaru.

That, apparently, was the sannin's limit as purple chakra started pulsing out of him and he started to change. As an eight headed snake emerged where the sannin once stood a thought crossed both sides: "Yep, we are all going to be eaten by a giant snake monster."

Orochimaru, in his Yamata no Orochi form, crushed both his own people and his enemies. His people, tired of all of the chaos that the three boys created and scared of him, decided to take their chances by becoming rouge ninja started running.

Their retreat brought no joy to anyone as the sannin continued to rage. Kabuto turned to Deidara urgently and asked him if he could make them a flying bird with which they could escape, he had seen his attacks and knew perfectly well that it might be within the blonde's limits.

Deidara readily agreed and made enough for all of them and Kabuto and he risked everything getting to the children's sides, who were fighting for their lives, and then putting them on them.

As they flew away they could see the snake tearing down the city walls. Few days later they learned that the city had survived as a group of shinobis had sacrificed their lives to seal the snake sannin away.

It had been a sad day for all of them, their heroic plan hadn't worked. Satoshi was the most shaken by the news. Naruto's actions had started that mess but he had made it possible for the sannin to get so angry as to destroy half a town. He would never forget what he had done, never.

* * *

TBC

Next time: You won't be kids forever! If something like the attack on the town happens again you must be able to run away, with or without, Deidara and I. Your shinobi training starts now!

End of Show arc.

Next arc is "The big bad shinobi world".

So sorry for the wait but my computer crashed because of the heat waves and I forgot to save my word document so I had to rewrite a part of the chapter.

Please review.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I'm also not making any money out of this story!**

_Pinky and the big bad shinobi world_

_**The Big Bad Shinobi World Arc**_

Chapter Eleven: Changes

With Deidara and Naruto:

Everything is serene above the ocean. Bellow is the water in all of its infinity and above is the cloudless skies. Such a picture would make anyone calmer and yet it failed to do that to a curtain blonde.

After a chase, courtesy of hunter nins of all of the shinobi villages, it had been enough for the group. They had agreed to separate. So now he had to watch over a very sad blonde child that hadn't smiled in weeks.

He didn't mind taking Naruto in the beginning. The boy's sense of humor was great and he had to admit that the boy appreciating his art also won him some brownie points. And there lay the problem. Ever since he had been separated from his two friends Naruto hadn't been the same.

It pained Deidara to see the ball of energy like this. Still there was nothing to be done. They both looked alike and could pass as brothers. And Naruto wasn't noticed yet as much as his friends.

Hunter nins, mostly from Kumo, tried restlessly to kidnap Sasuke for his sharingan. It had gotten so bad the black haired boy started to jump at every sound. To top it all off Satoshi had disappeared somewhere. It had happened during an attack on the camp in the dead of night. By the time they had even the idea of what hit them Satoshi was gone, no trails were left behind.

They had searched as much as time had allowed but they knew that they couldn't stay at the campsite for long. They had been found out already and it was dangerous. It had been Naruto's idea to go their separate ways in the hopes they might find each other again someday. That didn't mean it was easy to leave his friend so soon after Satoshi's disappearance but the blonde had pulled it off.

As soon as they had flown out of site the small blonde had started crying. The only thing that Deidara could do was to hug him, and he had done just that, murmuring words of comfort and not being entirely sure if he was comforting the child or himself.

He had trained Naruto as best as he could while they weren't in the air but their time was always cut short. Somehow the hunter nins always found them no matter where they were. On a brighter note he had managed to get Naruto to prank again, which might have been horrible for the boy's victims but it lifted his mood for a while.

Whit a heavy sight the blonde patted his charge's head and looked down bellow the bird again. Life as a missing ninja had been great before he had met the rag tag group but somehow he couldn't help but not regret it.

With Kabuto and Sasuke:

Sasuke walked a little bit behind Kabuto clutching Bandit. Bandit, the raccoon, wasn't happy about being clutched but Sasuke didn't care. Right now everything wasn't as fun as it used to, they were separated and it hurt.

So far he had came up with dead ends when he tried to plan their reunion. He had tried to prank bounty collectors to the point of hysterics for information on Satoshi. He had searched the newspapers for terrorist attacks that may tell him where Deidara and Naruto were. He had even tried finding his brother, a defense mechanism from his days as a happy child.

It had all been for nothing. Satoshi was still missing, Deidara was quiet and instead of Itachi he had found a shark guy who kept calling him pipsqueak. But did he even consider giving up? No! As Kabuto and he walked he tried to remember where was the nearest bounty station and if he had terrified its supervisor into running for the hills yet.

He smiled as he didn't exactly know the town they were in. This was a good thing. A new town meant a new opportunity to get information. He just had to wait for Kabuto to finish his questioning of the information brokers and then he would visit them during the night and use his sharingan to show them horrible things.

Sasuke had to admit that the illusion of the pink T-rex singing for twenty four hours was a little extreme but his friends were gone and without them he was sinking into his dark side…with cookies.

He noticed someone spying them and immediately activated his sharingan. Sasuke didn't know who it was but judging by the sort of people that usually trailed them he was not a good person and he deserved what he got.

A sound of something falling on the ground was heard and Kabuto only facepalmed while Sasuke pulled a cookie out of his bag and gave half to Bandit, blissfully eating the other half. It was fortunate that they were entering a town indeed for he ate half a cookie every time he put someone under a genjutsu and out of his 200 cookies now only five remained, including the one he was eating.

With Satoshi:

He didn't know how he got into this mess. One minute he was using the Tenrai Yari to play ninja with Sasuke and Naruto and the next someone snatched him. They had yelled something about Orochimaru and vengeance and the Haruno clan, the last he could totally understand, and then they had tied him up and started to carry him.

Where to he never got to know as he had been found by the story telling man and he had freed him. From then it had been an actually joyful journey around the countryside with the story telling man living up to his name and telling him stories all the while.

He liked them all but he liked the one about that time prince Madara and nobleman Haru curled prince Hashirama's hair into gorgeous curls that couldn't go back to normal for a month. The unfortunate prince had been mistaken for a fair princess and had to go on an epic quest to find someone to straighten his hair.

For a while Satoshi didn't mind being separated from the others, as selfish as it sounded he liked having someone's attention only to himself and being pampered. But as the days went on he felt an emptiness grow inside him.

His nostalgia had gotten so bad that he had started to call the story telling man by his friend's names. He could see that it hurt his new friend and tried to call him Toby but when he acted like one of his friends he just couldn't help himself.

So when one day Satoshi woke up to the smell of breakfast with all of his stuff, and quite a bit extra, packed and no Toby in sight he didn't feel betrayed. No, he felt grateful that his friend cared enough for him to let him go to find his group.

Satoshi silently promised himself that no matter what he was going to find Tobi again someday and this time he was going to introduce him to his friends!

Fortunately they had camped near a town and he made his way there. The town had been a big disappointment at first. It didn't even have an inn; it was merely a farmer's town. Still even these farmers had a thing or two to say.

In there he had learned of a demonic boy in a city guarded by raccoons whose eyes could somehow turn yellow. The little baby was not wanted there and they would soon ship him off to a shinobi village.

In fact that was the reason why the people were in town and not out in the fields. The escort, according to what a friend of a friend of a friend of a third cousin of the baker had said, was supposed to pass by.

Satoshi didn't know why but he felt guilty all of a sudden. Then he made his decision. If he was going to travel he was not going to travel alone. He didn't want to let the unfortunate baby be raised in an orphanage; whoever was up there knew he had hated it.

So, using everything he had learned from Haru's book, he had rescued the baby and became an unwanted person in the town. They had even made posters and everything and he had loved the sharp teeth and the horns.

That, however, wasn't really his biggest problem. His problem was the baby who was glaring at him and tried to tug his hair one minute and then was normal the next. The only way to know when the bucket of sunshine was going to make his life miserable was when the boy's eye color changed to yellow.

Satoshi had learned to counter most of the damage by reading to the baby from his uncle's book. The baby would freeze and stare at him blinking from time to time; not really understanding what was being said to him. It calmed it and Satoshi got some reading done so he wasn't complaining.

What he really disliked about his charge was his sleeping habits. He was sure that the baby woke him up right when he fell asleep on purposes. He always had that mad gleam in his eyes when he did and then when Satoshi would check him, diapers and all, he'll find him clean and not hungry with a small amused smile on his cute face.

Satoshi was patient and taking care of cuddly poops, as he had nicknamed the baby, took his mind off the fact that he was in the middle of no where and he still had no clue where his friends were.

One of those many days of complete boredom, spend in a house who's previous occupants had been driven away by a "vengeful spirit", he had picked a name for the baby. Cuddly poop's teeth had started to grow and the baby had started using them for many things, one of which being biting him.

As he watched the boy eat a peach one of the voices in his head was saying "Aw" while the others where plotting vengeance for a rather nasty bite on his left arm acquired during bath time.

With a sinister smile he picked up the baby, who kept eating his peach not really paying him any attention. Then Satoshi brightly announced that from then on he was to be called Momotaro. The baby first dropped his peach in surprise, after that it went through the tearful stage and after that the anger came.

Satoshi would never underestimate cuddly poops again, watching a baby trying to bite your nose off is scary, but he was proud he stood his ground and the name stayed.

* * *

TBC

So this is a what happened during time skip chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, please don't forget to review.


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